Gage Uglacy, 5th generation of the Uglacies, and undisputely the ugliest one yet. A sick little legacy I weave, trying to create the ugliest, yup folks...ugliest, sim I can in 10 generations. And I'm doing a mighty fine job, aren't I? Gage here is still a teen, a romance sim, not very nice, but then Uglacies never are. He's my heir, and there's no spare... so let's get crackin.

Ahh, hard at work, putting together my Uglacy Family diary. Yup, that's sim me, but I changed my hair because my daughter kept telling me I'm a dark blonde... not light... but I'm in denial. I mean dishwater blonde... ick, even the name is nasty. Besides, I couldn't get the other hair to upload.

Anyway, you're not here to see my sim, are you? Well let me give you a little update. If you haven't been following you might want to read the other stories first, because I'm at the half-way point... yippee!

It seems when legacy families make it this far, problems start arising.

First, my platinum urns have all disappeared... grrrrr. Not that my ghosts were ever very active anyway. They were all kind of duds except Sandy Bruty, who haunted the way she lived life, with a passion.

I did attempt to fix it, I brought founder Jimmy back from the dead and was going to boolprop him to die of old age, since that's how he went, but then all these fricking fracking error messages started popping up like I have never seen, and I said, forget it, I don't want to lose the whole family for a set of dead urns. I quit without saving, because everything froze up... but not to worry readers, I saved the Uglacy Family. Just pretend there are ghosts, mmkay?

Samara continues to harrass everyone she knows to be her best friend, but we are no way near that 30 count friend want. She makes best friends easily, but really, would you tell her to buzz off? If she is anything like her namesake (Samara from "The Ring") it's best just to agree you're her bestest friend.

And Gage just spends his energies on loving.

Ewww, seriously, that is a nasty make out session going on.

I didn't even take a picture of grandma Carrie, because she is just grotesquely fat and runs around in her bright orange PJ's all day. Why waste a picture on that.

Occasionally I walk by the house, but I ignore the call of the cowplant now. Besides, no one has ever milked him since my prior mishap... so Cujo's behaving for the moment.

It occurred to me that it was rather sad that the Uglacy Family had no neighbors other than their own family and River Waters. I decided to spice things up a bit by downloading a few fellow simmers... muhahaha.

The first victum, er I mean visitor to come by was Katnick. (Must read legacies, by the way).

"I never agreed to be in an Uglacy legacy. I want out right now."

Relax Katnick, the cowplants fed and you're in for a treat. Besides when you upload, that's just a chance you take, that crazy people like me will download you and you can end up in the Twilight Zone or a really bad legacy... or in my case both.

It looks like Samara is really letting Katnick have it, but actually this is how my sims tell jokes.

*shudders*

I'm serious, she's telling a joke.

Things went rather badly with Katnick, she didn't particularly like Samara.

Or Komeii...

Lighten up Katnick, I know they're ugly, but think of all those future birthday parties you can come to... yay. No? Well then I've got nothing for you.

Oh well, she did like the grilled cheese. I think this will be a new tradition for the Uglacies, to lure the unsuspecting neighbors into their house and force them to eat grilled cheese so Don, the grilled cheese Zombie, can be happy.

A bad imitation of Chopin or Chopsticks... I'm not sure.

Katnick had an obsession with the piano. It took me hours, literally, to get her off of it and send her packin. I've seen Katnick in other legacies, and she always heads for musical instruments.

Gage, meanwhile, is quite popular to spite his "unique" appearance. Here he is yacking it up with Jan Tellerman, about going steady.

Get a clue, Gage, she's too old for you! By the way, does anyone know the deal on this girl. Is she related to Komeii Tellerman somehow? I've always wondered.

Randy London is really a scary townie. Look at that face, it's just filled with lunatic glee.

He's still furious at Gage for stealing his girlfriend Gretta. Well, no worries, London, you'll get her back as soon as Gage grows up. She's just his ticket to be platinum right now.

Komeii hates fixin things, and has no patience for it.

"I can not believe they expect the Komeii man to do menial tasks!"

Poor Komeii, never able to get into a real legacy family, and always talking about himself in the 3rd person. Delusions of Grandeur... *sighs*

"Hmmm, another neighbor?"

Why don't you greet her Carrie?

"Do I have to?"

"Hi, I'm Swiffner, creator of the Waters Legacy. I heard you people serve a mean grilled cheese."

"Um, well I guess you can..."

"Thanks! And where's your piano?!"

I guess us legacy writers just flock to get creativity points. It kind of makes sense in a way.

And Don goes platinum with the joy of sharing his grilled goodies. (The sandwiches folks, get your mind out of the gutter!)

Samara brought this guy home from work, and he was really odd. His name is Don something, and he kept bashing Don the Zombie.

Swiffner did not particularly care for his zombie-prejudiced ways. But for some reason, he wouldn't leave her alone.

He followed her everywhere with her thought bubble over his head. But he did leave a good tip at the piano. Wishful thinking, pal. Better bring mace the next time you come over Swiffner.

Meanwhile, I was just missing my ghosts too much. So I decided if I couldn't boolprop here, by golly, I would just take Carrie somewhere else to get the job done.

Prepare yourself for a little piece I like to call the resurrection fiasco.

As we settled in on a little blank lot, I left Carrie amuse herself while I spawned the various tombstones I would need. And this is not cheating folks, not when I just want my ghosts that I rightfully earned back. But I am a rather lazy sim player, and I don't really pay attention when clicking things... um which is bad when you're in boolprop mode. I made 2 major mistakes.

I accidently added this wierd little townie girl to Carrie's family... oops. About this time JFizzle walks by with a very confused look on his face. I can't say as I blame him.

Ok, well I got back on track... and here's Jimmy, the Uglacy founder, poor Jimmy. He didn't want to die again. I hate doing this, it really sucks. I know its just pixels, but I'm rather attached to those pixels.

And Sandy Bruty, who had one of the most colorful personalities ever. I loved you Sandy, I don't care what other simmers say, you're a blast! But I have to kill you, nothing personal.

And their son Norman. Norman was ugly alright, but also very boring. He's dressed nice for death tho, don't you think?

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."

The hula girls were going into overtime.

JFizzle had a breakdown on the lot.

Geesh J, didn't know you were so attached to my family. Carrie hasn't even shed a tear.

"That's not why I'm crying, it's just you suck at this game so bad."

Yeah, I would agrue that point but the next picture shows my second mistake.

Lakshmi came back as a zombie. Ugh. I thought I paid the Grimster enough, but silly me, always wanting a bargain. I brought her back twice, still a zombie. Oh well, she'll make a great ghost, eh?

"What do you mean you're going to kill me again. This is the 3rd time."

Well 3rd times a charm, right? Now Katnick is giving me the evil eye. Geesh, sorry people. A few mishaps, ok. Thought I could fix the zombie thing, um guess not.

Now I have all the graves... but that girl is fighting with JFizzle and is so upset that at the last minute runs away from home. Um, thanks JFizzle, now I have a runaway 2 minutes before I'm leaving the lot. Hope you're happy. ;)

"Get me the hell of here, driver, step on it."

"Lady, I don't know if I can carry all those tombstones in my trunk. There are laws in this state."

"My son in law makes a mean grilled cheese."

"Where to?"

She comes back later to find out that Carrie has up and split with the urns.

"Where's my family?!"

I was going to boolprop her, but I actually felt sorry for her. So I figured, eh, ,maybe I'll send her to college someday... or something. Her name is... um I donno. But the last name is Centrowski, so I think she's related to that Orlando kid.

The end result is impressive tho, eh? My urns are back in the attic, and if they disappear again, forget it. I am not doing this again.

Don, I clicked the mail off, you are not suppose to walk the whole frickin way around the house! Just set it down already!

"But I must examine this closely. It looks like I've won the Publisher's Clearinghouse."

Sure, right.

Poor girl walks by my lot now, giving me these yearning looks.

Little orphan Annie, homeless teen, lost runaway. All my fault with my sorry boolpropping abilities.

So I feed her grilled cheese.

Who says I don't have a heart, eh?

*cue music...*
Goddess on a Mountaintop,
Was burning like a silver flame.
The summit of beauty and love,
And Venus was her name.

She's got it,
Yeah Baby she's got it.
Well I'm your Venus,
I'm your fire...
Pure desire.

Time for Gage to start getting to know his lovely, future bride. I have waited patiently to add Carmen Patch into the mix. Where else to break the ice but the love tub.

"Baby, I'm going to show you some woohoo like you have never seen."

Yeah, and I will not take pictures of it... because frankly that would just be gross. Some things are better left to the readers imagination.

On this side of the tub is Gage Uglacy. Picture this face with...

these genetics...

*cringing*

Don is not your average grilled cheese zombie, he often romances Samara, and absolutely adores her. He's my all time favorite sim so far. Maybe because he just landed a part in the Uglacy clan by total accident.

Meet male maid... Blair. Future Uglacy? Possibly.

Samara's so popular she brings the whole swat team home from work, and she is constantly on her cell phone. Busy girl, Samara. Her day planner is about the size of a Webster dictionary.

Gage continues his romance sim ways... but hey, we didn't want Orphan Annie to feel unloved.

"The sun will come out, tommorrroooow,
Bet your bottom dollar that tommorrow, there'll be sun!!!"

And Jfed comes to visit.

"Ha, ha, ha, I can't believe how ugly you are."

"We Uglacies like to think of it as cosmetically challenged if you don't mind."

"Igor make yummy grilled cheese for you."

"Um thanks, Don."

Customary grilled cheese dinner for our famous guest. After all, she actually finished a legacy!

How did this wierdo sneak in again? Seriously, I'm beginning to think he stalks not only the Uglacy family, but legacy sim writers as well.

"If I keep eating all this grilled cheese, I'm going to get fat as a sumo wrestler."

True, so stop comming over dude!!!

"Look you creep, back off. You don't want to make me weld the power of boolprop, and I'm not afraid to use it."

You tell him JFed.

While JFed threatens our unwelcomed guest, Don is putting on quite a show in the kitchen. Don, we have guests... think you could maybe stagger your way on over to a shower?

Customary grilled cheese is followed by customary piano playing...

Geesh you legacy writers are the biggest mooches. No, Uglacies do not tip. They're mean and cheap, ok? Besides I motherloded you guys.

"Yea, but a motherlode just ain't the same anymore, inflation and all. And we need a bubble blower at our house, and a pool, and a bowling alley would be nice. And we each need our own computer. We have stories to write you know."

My ghosts are confused, they have really random thoughts now and can't seem to figure out how to get out of the attic to haunt. I have the crappiest ghosts ever. *sighs*

Gage continues to build his relationship with Carmen. I think he's telling her about being potty trained by a secret society, grilled-cheese, vice-squad zombie. She doesn't seem impressed. Potty trained men are a plus however. Why she doesn't appreciate it is beyond me.

Poor Hiddenunderabed, Gage has a crush on her on sight. He just thinks that bowling outfit is so hot.

"Look kid, get it through your head, we can't be together. I'm a CAS sim, you're a legacy sim, not to mention you're a teen, I'm an adult. There's laws against that. And you're extremely ugly. Not that there are laws against that, but in your case, maybe there should be."

I caught you Don! Where is the grilled cheese!

"Oh give it a break! I wanted chili ok?!"

Hmmm, well just this once.

All Carrie does is wander around in those pj's. If I didn't know better I would say she was a pleasure sim. She's grown so boring and nonexistent.

Oops, I'm bad. I didn't even notice she died while finishing up a masterpiece. But I wasn't the only one oblivious to her.

Hey, yoohoo, Komeii, notice any new memories, like your wife dying perharps?!

Samara, could you maybe put down the phone for 2 seconds. Um, your mom just bit the dust.

Gage!

"I'm in the middle of SSX."

Geesh, seriously, this was the worse death ever, no one even noticed.

"Hey Alon, how about bringing some of your teenage buddies over to watch a video tonight. I like to call it Seven Days."

"Um, I don't think so Mrs. Uglacy. There's a rumor Marsha Bruening saw it and no one knows what happened to her."

Oh dear, she went green in the energizer, don't you just hate when that happens. But doesn't Samara actually look like she's crawling out of the well, just like the movie!

"I'm so comming after you, you sorry legacy writer. I'm comming thru that monitor..."

Eeek, *runs and hides in corner*

So Komeii, did you finally realize Carrie died?

"Um no, that dang Zombie and his vaporous gases!!! Don't leave him have chili again. And my wife's dead???"

Ah yeah, wake up and smell the coffee. Or zombie farts as the case may be.

Carrie scores her LTW, to be a captain hero. Don scores it a few days later, now they can fly to work in matching capes. How cute is that?!

Gage spins up a want to go shopping for clothes and I indulge him. In town he meets up with the famous Neonhorn, known for her Mclegacy series. He immediatly gives her fashion tips.

But this was most amusing. Neonhorn meets Brandi in the store, and if you haven't followed that series, well Neonhorn and Brandi have a few issues. It was ironic, and funny to me, that they could not get along in the store at all. I thought Neonhorn was going to take Brandi down. I was already popping the popcorn for the show. I'm a Jerry Springer kind of gal, can you tell?

"Uggh.."

Don, try opening the gate, not impaling yourself on it. That just looks painful.

"So dad, I'm so glad you're going to watch this video with me."

"Samara, this isn't that sick little video you made when you were a kid. You know, the one that killed people in seven days?"

"Don't be silly dad!"

"You don't have seven days...!"

"Komeii Tellerman, your time is up. Any final wishes? Komeii... Komeii!"

"Man, are those real?! Can you loan me a buck to put in her hula skirt?"

So long Komeii man... you gave this family a distinct personality, enjoy your Pina Colada, because you earned it. He passed at 84, his LTW to be a business tycoon filled.

Hey, it's HurriKaty. Samara was quick to greet her.

But HurriKaty hurried right on past our lot with a terrified look on her face.

Hey, wait Katy, come back... we have grilled cheese!

"Hmmm my elderly transition. What shall I wish for? Oh, I know... about 15 more best friends."

Ugh, no frickin frackin way. I officially hate that want now. Our phone rings non stop.

"Ugh, I got stuck in the trash compactor!"

This is what happens when I try to get cool birthdays shots. *sigh*
That looks,uh, interesting. Spin, Samara, spin yourself free!

I would hang my head in shame as well. My great grandmother dressed better than that. The Little House on the Prairie look just doesn't cut it for Samara. And the downloaded hair is obviously having some confusion as well. It's time for a trip to the mirror. But first let's look at this party through Robert's eyes... literally.

hee, hee. I feel like Mr. Magoo.

Oh and Carrie makes an appearance for the party. It seems she and Komeii are smarter than the other ghosts. Since they lived here, they've figured out how to actually go down a set of stairs.

Young lady, speaking of growing up... women do not sit in skirts like that. Hello! Do you really think that Gage, a romance sim, is paying any attention to what she's saying at this point? I think not.

"I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losing controool,
For the power you're supplying... It's electrifyiiiing fying fying..."

It just looked so Grease-like... well I'm not sure Gage could pass for John Travolta... but sim girls think he's hot. Yeah, I know, hard to believe.

Gage, meanwhile, has his sights set way too high.

"So um, like I turn into an adult in one sim day, and I was wondering if we could like hook up. I know I'll be rolling wants to flirt with you."

"Listen kid, I told you once, it ain't going to happen. Your face really makes me want to hide under a bed... mmmkay? Hey, whose screaming in the Karoke booth?"

Swiffner... put the mike down! Geesh, this simself sims are worse than my legacy family!

Crumplebottom, why are drinking and thinking about Hiddenunderabed. Ok, Hidden, you've got some serious explaining to do!

Back at the house, that sim day is up.

Oh Dear Lord... all those genetics are finally catching up with this family. Getting rather hard to look at, aren't they?

Calling Monkey Women...

Now let's watch the mating ritual of the elusive Carmen Patch. A little caressing so the male Uglacy can show his interest...

"You want me to what?!"

This is the actual reaction Gage gave me when told to kiss his future bride. Oh get over it, Gage, you ain't no prize either.

"Oh Carmen, you smell of pesticides and roach motels... marry me you silly woman."

Ewww... this just isn't fun to watch is it? When Ugly Sims Breed...

You're not suppose to inhale the thing, Carmen.

"Oh Gage, I shall wear this over my rubber exterminator glove for all the world to see."

Um, wrong finger too by the way. That finger is for... well never mind.

Look Zombie boy, I know you don't like it. But this living forever thing, well, I can't have you looking like you're 20 while Samara's 70. This ain't hollywood, buster.

Samara and Don... they look sort of Adam family don't they? Ah well, at least no one can ever accuse me of having cookie cutter sims. Mine are originals... unique... different... scary... creepy... hideous... oh the adjectives could go all day.

And the wedding of the century is on... I made the scenery attractive to try and draw attention away from the couple. But it isn't working is it?

As soon as the "I dos" are finish, Gage takes a call from his Grease girlfriend. He's rolling wants for things he can't have now... and he's going to be one of those Romance sims that don't make very good husbands.

He meant me once... so what if I mentioned woohoo... he needs to get that want out of his inventory now. I'll cowplant myself first... again... before that will ever happen.

And Hiddenunderabed... I would suggest you stay far, far away. I know our grilled cheese is great... but he has a hot tub... and some bad ideas. He's the Don Lothario of ugly sims.

Off on a lovely honeymoon, their chiseled features gleaming in the moonlight... oh who am I kidding. It looks like Frankenstein and his bride.

Carmen concieved first try. Now she is taking her baby-to-be and her unibrow on a ride.

I don't think that's good for pregnancy, Carmen. Babies aren't bake and shake, you know.

To get Gage's nasty mind off of me and Hiddenunderabed, I sent the Centroskwi girl to college, and now he's having an affair with her on the side. A simmers gotta do what a simmers gotta do.

"Arrrgh, the baby's comming!"

"You're pregnant!"

Gage is the worse dad ever... the next picture will proove it.

He whips out his MP3 player during the birth and rocks on.

I have never had that happen, and I've had some lousy sim dads. Meet Regan Uglacy, a baby girl. Wherever did I get the name? Well you know my tradition of naming after horror movie characters... Regan was the little girl in the 'Exorcist.' Yeah, pea soup, head turning, all that stuff.

"Oh Zombie boy, let's save the world together!"

These two do this stuff all the time, no help from me. I may seem mean to my sims, but actually I spoil them and pretty much give them most of their wants. Except Gage. Can't go there. Well that's a wrap, folks, and until next time, happy simming! Oh yeah, and there's two forums where I go to shamelessly advertise my legacy and also to read some great legacy stories. The Shooflee forum (Just search and you'll find it) and www.itsallme.com.ru/sims2legacy. Thanks to all those whose simselves I stoled for my legacy!