"Hello you sim loving girly men, you know me, Noo? I am Komeii Tellerman, and if you don't know me, you don't play the sims enough. And I have a bone to pick with you Legacy Gods and Goddesses. Why do you never play the Komeii man, eh? I wander onto your lots, I come to your puny, disaster parties, I play with your stinkin brats. I am the Arnold Swharzenneger of your sim world, and yet I am left in the shadows. It is because you are afraid I will outshine your precious CAS sims! Well no more! It's time for me to pump you up!"

Oh dear, I think I just opened Pandora's box. Well I had to let him do his little intro... poor guy, never gets any air time. Welcome back to the Uglacy family, still striving to create the ugliest, yes the UGLIEST sim we can in 10 generations. So on with the story... Chapter 5...

Carrie, my chosen heir from the last chapter, was smitten with Komeii and after a short courtship, um like a day, they married and whoohooed, which I didn't take any pics of cause frankly, do you really want to see that. I thought not.

And the possible heir is born, possible because it is always the ugliest child that rules in my family.

Actually she's a pretty baby... but that means nothing. And I named her Rosemary (following my tradition of naming after horror movies. You know... Rosemary's baby). And this is where our Uglacy legacy picks up.

Lakshmi makes an excellent grandma between terrorizing the world and reeking havoc.

Poor baby looks a bit frightened tho, no idea why. Nothing wrong with this picture... Grandma Dearest... muhahaha

Norman is as boring as ever... and uglier... Is his face like melting or is it just me?

"Yawwwn, you bore me with your piddle paddle story. No one wants to hear of my chipmunk faced father in law. Tell them something interesting. Tell them about me!"

Geesh, ok. Let's talk Komeii.

Komeii is not particularly known as nice...next to Kennedy Cox he's probably one of the meanest townies out there. Here he meets Damien, Carrie's twin brother for the first time.

"Ugh you jerk!"

"Ha, ha, ha, you have been baptized by the Komeii man. What? What's wrong, you gonna cry like a little sissy boy?

And actually, Damien did. I was disappointed. Damien was named after the son of Satan, and he's not suppose to take crap like a water balloon. Pfft.

Komeii doesn't play nice with Lakshmi, their relationship was in the negatives all on it's own.

"Listen here you old baboon, you smart off to me one more time, and I'll kick your granny @$$."

Whoa, back off dude. She's your mother in law!

"Don't you mean monkey-in-law?!"

"OMG, who started that fire!"

You did! You burn everything you cook! Ugh.

And we gather on the midnight golf course, for the Finals in Putt Putt golfing. Next up is Komeii Tellerman.

This is going to be a hard shot, Rob. The fans are wondering if he can do it.

The tension is un-nerving...

"Ugh, I must concentrate. Quiet peon voices in my head..."

"He shoots, and oh my goodness, it's a hole in one. He has won the midnight tour of Putt Putt. And his prize includes one charisma point, and a coupon for a free meal!"

Clap, clap, clap... I was breathless, how about you?

"Ugh, what is this, Ghost Central!"

Oh, hey Komeii, meet Carrie's grandparents, Jimmy and Sandy.

Poor Carrie, she got the flu, and was pregnant, and then I saw this...

"choke, choke, gasp, huge phlegm ball, ugh."

It's the universal sign for the Heilmnich manuever (or sim kissing butt good-bye).. quick Komeii, come at once!

"I see the light, it's so beautiful..."

No Carrie, it's a trick, go to the darkness! The darkness has always been your real friend.

"Oh dear, what a shame. I've seen this before, downloaded furniture that kills. They set down, never to get up again. Death by bench. Sad."

"Nooo, noo, you can't take her. This is my only chance at a legacy family, and I'll never get another."

"Well looking at that mug, I can see why. Alright, I've got a luu-ow with the Hula girls tonight anyway."

"Ha, yeah, that's right, you better fear the Komeii man! Sissy boy."

"Don't you worry imbecile, I'll be back, I always am."

"So how is my little Rosey tonight?"

Put the kid back in the crib. She's sleeping doofus, hence the Z's everywhere! Komeii's no family sim, that's for sure.

"You're not pregnant to that @$$ole again, are you Carrie?"

"No mom," barf, barf, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Oh man, mom's gonna be pissed."

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts, too sexy. And I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I shake my little toosh on the catwalk...on the catwalk, I shake my little toosh on the catwalk."

Watching him dance is like watching a blind dancing bear on one leg... yeah, it's that bad.

"I think I'll just play this guitar until I starve to death or pee myself, whichever comes first. Forget needs, this is just so much fun!"

I know how those plants feel.