Hey wait a minute, that's not an ugly sim, I want my money back! Welcome back to the legacy family with a sick twist, in 10 generations we are going to see how ugly a sim can be made by marrying the ugliest townies and NPC's I can find. Scary, isn't it, but put your seats in the upright position, because we are about to take off.

So Jimmy retires to babysit while the parents work on their career goals.
"Great, I get to take care of the brat."

Oh suck it up, Jimmy. I'll invite a few of your girlfriends over when he's napping and you can have some of those dream dates you like so much.

If you haven't read the previous stories, well it's always better from the start... but to my legion of fans that have been following, ok maybe 2 people aren't a legion, but here goes.

Let's see, oh yeah, Lakshmi had just given birth to the 3rd generation of Uglacies... Robert. Here's a picture showing even ugly mommies are beautiful.

Ok, so a whole lot of boring baby stuff happened... you know the drill, bottle, crib, diaper, bottle, crib, diaper... and finally it was time for Robert's birthday. His Aunt Dreama came over to join in on the party, but wouldn't let go of the kid so I could get him to the cake, and it was starting to creep me out.

Way to go, Dreama, lay the kid out on the cold patio. For a knowledge sim, you sure are stupid.

Finally, we get Robert to the cake...

And it's a baby cannon ball! Be careful Norman, what are you trying to do? Hit the ceiling with that kid.

Red Hair!!! Excuse me while I do my happy dance of joy. Where did it come from? I don't know. Maybe Lakshmi has been inviting Komeii over when I wasn't looking, or maybe she really isn't a blonde after all. But this is ok with me! My own little carrot top, awwwwwww.

"Hey Dreama, have I ever shown you my rubber-band pillow fighting technique!"

"Ow, mom, that hurts! I think I lost a tooth!"

The Party was a roof raiser!

And look, I saved some stale sim cake just for you. Rev up the chainsaw, cause you know you want a piece!

Jimmy, have you been doing Robbie's hair?

"Um, maybe, why?"

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Calm down kid, pick some boogers or something.

Uh, excuse me, mom, dad the kid is screaming his lungs out!

"We're kind of busy here, making a spare. Get Jimmy to take care of him."

"Sure, make me do all the grunt work. I'm a pleasure sim! How did I get stuck with babysitting detail!"

Oh go take care of the brat and then you can go back to your bubble bath, or whatever...

It makes excellent meatloaf, Norman. Trust me.

"Andrea, what are you doing here? I told you I'm retired now."

"Yes, General Uglacy, but we have a serious situation and we need your help."

"So our monkey broke his hand, and we need a replacement to fly the shuttle into the sun for our temperature experiment. Can we borrow Jimmy?"

"Well, that would give me a headstart to finish up on my 20 lovers..."

"Hello, I'm standing right here!"

In an attempt to make Lakshmi a little easier on the eye, I gave her some make up. I tried to get her to change her hair back to her natural red, but she insist blondes have more fun. I really don't think it's going to help her, but who am I to burst her bubble.

"Oh, I just had a terrible nightmare I was pregnant again."

That is terrible. Good thing it was just a dream... *whistles innocently*

"Hey, I'm pregnant now! How can you make me do toilet duty?!"

"Uh, he's your kid."
mutters *lazy sim*

Um, Norman, I really don't think you should put your head down there, just a thought. If someone turns that compactor on, well let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.

"Oh my gosh, a butane lighter! Quick call a doctor! Wait I am a doctor. What to do, what to do?"

"I know, I'll put it back in and sew him up!"

Sim Health Care... not the best in the world. I can tell you personally as a nurse, this would definitly break sterile technique.

After that stressful incident, Norman ups his fun with his backyard bowling alley. I mean really, what is it with sims constantly wanting these.

Of course in real life I have one of these in my backyard. Right next to my bubble blower.

Ok, it's time for a birthday party again. How do I know? Because Brandi is here drinking all our beer.

Watch it Brandi, you get a little tipsy and you start waving noisemakers around like a crazed woman. You could put someone's eye out with that.

Meet Robert, a nice little neat freak. Serial killer material if you ask me.

And nothing completes a birthday party like a sponge bath in front of all your guests... gads.

"Dad, Lakshmi wants to get Robert into a private school. You know the headmasters won't let us in."

"There's only one thing to do, Norman. We're have to burn down the school."

Meanwhile, Robert attends his first day of public school, and guess who comes home with him! It's Marsha Bruening, AKA psycho child, everybody's phone friend.

"Bye bye, Miss busdriver. It was so much fun talking to you the whole way here! We can be bestest bestest friends now. I'll call you every night for the rest of you life! See ya later!"

"Get off my bus, you little psycho @#&*$..."

That's really no way for a busdriver to talk to children, is it?

I carefully observed Marsha, and this girl has serious issues. First she plays and loves the teddy bear and then suddenly, she flies into fits of rage and beats the stuffing out of it. I'm leaning towards multiple personalities on this one. Where is the sim shrink when you need him?

Here Marsha watches Lakshmi sleeping. This was just too creepy. I sent her packing and that made up my mind. Robert could not continue attending Sim Elementary with this little wierdo. We were going to try the headmaster thing one more time...

Sandy was secretly having an affair with Korey. This time we had an edge, and I have a feeling that headmaster Korey won't be saying no to us.

Everything was going so well... Sandy was smoozing the pants off of Korey... literally, when Jimmy, who never burns anything chose tonight to burn the pork chops to a crisp. Uggggh! Jimmy clean up that mess now!

Fortunately Lakshmi comes to the rescue with a butterball turkey.

"And then this baseball flew at Lakshmi's face at 80mph and..."

Korey seems impressed to spite that Norman and Lakshmi are making out all over the kicthen on free will mode. UGH. Are these sims trying to ruin this?! Why don't you just whoohoo on the table and get it over with?!

Oh yes, we score 128 with 1 minute 27 seconds left on the clock. So here is my headmaster advice... have your sim whoohoo the headmaster. Guarenteed enrollment, and you heard it here first.

I call this intermission piece "Fun with Glitches!"
Glitch # 1
Although painful, toilet training a toddler can be achieved by inserting the toddler directly through your bladder.

Glitch #2 Here Lakshmi uses Norman to show off her ventriloquist skills...

Glitch # 3... uh, I am at a loss for words...it's just a smustle gone terribly wrong.

Glitch#4 The Uglacy family ended up in the E.R. after playing a very competitive game of Twister.

Tired of glitches? I know I am. Moving on...

So Jimmy's 74 now, and according to his life bar, it looks like he'll live to be 140...*sighs* But it's time to keep his aspirations up since he never got those 50 dream dates. So he takes Sandy out for a night on the town.

And I am quickly reminded why I don't take these two out! Bowler boy is pretty upset.

But does that bother this open couple, of course not! The date continues to heat up!

And it's a quick trip to the dressing room to assure my elders are at their platinum best!

Romance and Pleasure sims get along very nicely by the way. And dare I say it, but Sandy is actually decent looking in this picture. Maybe it's my amazing photographic skills... yeah right...*snicker*

Uh oh, this doesn't look good.

"You shameless hussy Sandy Bruty! How dare you whoohoo in a public place!"

"Back off you old bat!"

Mrs. Crumplebottom was so upset by the scene she had just witnessed that she immediatly took to knitting.

Unfazed, as usual, Jimmy and Sandy went to Londoste for a nice dinner. On a side note, I was a waitress and this is a waste of a table. Excuse me, party of 8. Way to make a cozy dinner. I was not impressed with Londoste service. We won't be tipping.

Sandy and Jimmy get home to find Lakshmi going into labor. Lakshmi does not seem impressed with Sandy cheering her on. Or maybe Sandy's telling her to get out of the bedroom so she and Jimmy can whoohoo. Who knows.

Wait, I got two for the price of one! So it's time to name the twins, and I was going to name my sims after enemies in my life, but frankly I don't think you want to keep hearing stories of my 3rd grade woes and cheating boyfriends, so I have devised another method. I shall name the Uglacies after horror movie stars... since I am trying to create a 10th generation monster. So meet Damien and Carrie... muhahaha, the terror twins.

Lakshmi hates changing diapers, its constantly in her fear panel, so whenever the babies poo, she lectures them... seriously. I've never seen anything like it, and frankly Lakshmi, I think you are being a bit harsh on them! They're babies and their job is to fill diapers. Knowledge sims can be so stupid.

Soon after the birth of the twins, Jimmy takes to drinking. He's constantly rolling up the want. Pour one for me , Jimmy. I know just how you feel.

And here's Dreama again... always grabbing onto the babies, you would think she was a family sim, not knowledge. She's Norman's sister, who was banished because she was too good looking for this family. Ever wonder what happened to her? Well...

She dropped out of college and immediatly started an affair with Remington... My plan to marry spares to good looking NPC's and make room for more ugly ones. So poor Dreama, a beautiful house, a motherlode of money, and the best looking maid ever.

"Yeah, this is just killing me, Especially that new corvette you just put in my driveway."

Poor spares.

And they were married with all of the Uglacy family in attendance.

A perfect marriage with a perfect reception...

Jimmy and Norman munched chips on the couch, like father, like son...

While Sandy lectured Remington on whoohoo. He quickly assured her that his whoohooing skills were excellent, and she needn't be concerned about it... this actually happened and if Sandy were my mom I would have been mortified. But now let's get back to Norman's pathetic life...

Brandi's at our house again, drinking beer, and we all know what that means. It must be time for another birthday.

Time for the twin's birthday... cause the whole baby grow up thing is boring...

Twin # 1... Damien is another carrot top like his brother. Yeah, I was too lazy to do the glowy baby change picture... and I know it just ruined the whole story for you.

And Twin 2, Carrie, looks more like dad. She's a burnette with blue eyes. Are they ugly? Only time will tell...

Brandi nearly killed Robert at the party, but otherwise it went well.

"I'm Meadow Thayer. Look at me, I'm so cute. All sim players put me into their legacy families, so they can get my hot genetics."

Well not this legacy family, sister. So just keep moving right off my lot!

So in the spirit of the holidays, I thought it only fitting that the Uglacies get to celebrate. Preferably before Jimmy died... he's old as the hills now. Lakshmi decorated the house, although this isn't a very good picture.

And here he comes! The man of the hour! The toy toting king of urination... at least in this game.

Robert, like a lot of kids, was actually terrified of him. Hey kid, whats to be scared of, a big, fat, jolly bearded man in a red fur coat with black leather boots... ok, maybe I see your point.

And he immediatly took to hogging the bathroom and urinating non stop. Does this Santa have a urinary tract infection or what?!

To which Jimmy said, "Ho ho ho, my @$$, get out of my bathroom."

All in all, a very happy holiday.

And so as Jimmys days come to an end, he keeps himself happy by whoohooing with Sandy in the hot tub and sucking down drinks all day...

I grow tired of his constant me, me attitude and sometimes set him to meditating for hours. There are other people in this house with needs, you know.

Squashing cockroaches with your bare feet is just icky and unproductive. Soon after this, Sandy got the flu. Great.

And then, on a dream date with his wife in the nursery, Jimmy got a visitor.

Way to ruin a dream date, Grimster.

"I've come for you Jimmy Uglacy."

"Jimmy? Ah no, my name's Tom." Nice try, but it didn't work.

Sandy, you look suspiciously like you're smiling...

"Uh, no, I'm just so overwhelmed with grief, it looks that way. Say can we call some of Jimmy's friends over here? We can have a memorial service in the hot tub."

Final Stats for Jimmy Uglacy:

AKA: Founding Father
Aspiration: Pleasure Sim
LTW: 50 Dream Dates (didn't happen)
Career: Retired General
Spouse: Sandy Bruty
Kids: Norman & Dreama
Special ability: Poolstick model, holds sim world record for car whoohoo.

The most upset by Jimmy's death is little Damien, who almost plummets into Toddler Aspiration failure, I almost let him, because I wanted to see if the sim shrink works with kids, but then I caved and brought him up with lots of snuggling from mom. This kids biggest fear is always death of a relative, which is amazing considering most toddlers don't have a clue about death.

Carrie ends up being a little cutie pie after some hair help from me. I don't know where I download anything, sorry, I'm in a sim shopping craze when I do it, but Mod sims have an excellent mirror so you can change your toddler's appearance, and I don't consider this cheating at all, because it should have been that way in the game. So there.

And Robert and Damien bond over deep conversations on elephants and bugs.

Oh there's Brandi with a beer again, and we all know what that means...

It's time for a birthday bash, and Marsha Bruening is here as well.

"So you seem like a really neat o lady, and I like to have friends. Do you like to have friends? We could be friends, you know. We could be bestest friends ever, and I'll call you every night, just to remind you we are friends, and..."

"Kid if you call me, I'll come over to your house and butter your bread with a 10" pipe"

"Oh, ok, never mind."

Aww, here's Aunt Dreama again... put the kid DOWN!

So since we can't get Damien away from his aunt, first up is little Carrie. Blow out those candles, kid, we got a schedule here.

Why do Brandi and Marsha get the noisemakers. Ugh... we need to get better guests.

Hmm, guess Carrie decided to go blonde like her mother. You're a bit young to be dying your hair yet. I'll fix it later.

Next up, Damien. What's with the face Brandi? You get to come over here and drink beer, you can handle 2 minutes to watch the kid spin and grow. Geesh.

And instant kiddo... note he has blurred fingers now, why? Because I have a crappy computer. Sure, sure, I just got a new video card.I can make really pretty pictures, but I have to constantly switch the settings cause it lags and sometimes I lose my game completely. So sorry for the blurred photos, but lag sucks, and I just can't handle it anymore.

So of course what is mom and dad's first wish... private school! UGH. And unfortunately it's BJ and not Korey, whom Sandy knows intimately... cough, cough.

The tour and dinner go well. But now it's time for the Uglacie's trouble area... smoozing... can they do it?

At first its a bit hit and miss. BJ looks confused at the topic of conversation, and frankly, I am too. Is this family discussing cockroaches as their best friends? It wouldn't surprise me one bit.

But Sandy rushes in with her full charisma points and um, charming personality. BJ likes her, and we score! More Uglacies in private school! Yay!

And someone else is about to transition into teenage hood. Yes, my little Robbie is about to grow up. They grow up so quickly these darn sims! One last look at the child...

My, isn't Lakshmi getting quite a Caboose there. So being bored of birthdays, and just having one 5 minutes ago, I let Robert transition without Brandi throwing noisemakers at him. Besides, We're out of beer.

Hmm, no looker, but not as bad as I expected. He rolls family, and remains an active, nice, little neatfreak.

I decide to perk him up a bit with some freckles to match that red hair.

Meanwhile, I've given the terror twins, Damien and Carrie, makeovers as well. Aren't they just darling! Carrie is my favorite right now, simply for her personality. She's mean & has almost full outgoing and active points, a scary combination. Damien is more on the serious and nice side. Let's see which of these three pan out the ugliest. Then I'll have my heir.

It's time now to keep Sandy's aspiration in the plat, since she never got those 20 lovers. With Jimmy gone, she now brings over a different lover every day to satisfy her needs. Here she waits patiently while Jilhoon the diva dude primps himself.

"Come on already, I'm an old lady, and times a ticking!"

Meanwhile, Robert wants a first kiss... and while Meadow is not marrying material, we can use her and throw her away. So I have him greet her, as she keeps hanging around our lot, seemingly wanting to be part of this family.

Time for a joke... "So then there was this thermometer..."

"And it was on this planet..."

"And this planet had curvy road signs."

"Ha, ha, ha, that's so funny Robert!"

I don't get it? Do you?

Meanwhile, the terror twins finish their dinner, and Carrie, when she needs something, stares right at me... it's really creepy.

Ok, kid, so go to bed already, geesh.

Ricky Cormier comes home with Robbie the next day, to get an eye full of this! Hey Ricky, no one invited you, so deal with it.

Somehow, I think Marsha has meant her match.

"Why is there ice cream all over the bed?"

Yeah, Brandi, explain that one to little Marsha.

Sandy keeps rolling a want, and finally, I must indulge her. Who is this man? Why must she have him, and can it possibly get any worse?

As Remington and Sandy get the party started, Carrie gives me a knowing glare. Knock it off Carrie and get on the bus.

That kid really creeps me out.

Their passion can not be contained. And the aspirations are flying...

After which, Remington keeps going to the bar, perharps he's downing those drinks from the guilt he's feeling. Well you should be ashamed, Remmy, some family sim you are! Whoohooing with your mother in law. I feel like I'm in a bad episode of "ALL MY SIMS".

"Pink bunny must die..."

Damien's darker side is starting to come out.

Lakshmi has a night job, and I'm a little suspicious of it. Where have you been Laks? Robbing fellow sims? You better be careful or Officer Demi will catch you.

"Meadow, you're so pretty."

"I know," *giggles* "tell me one more time."

Ugh.

Lakshmi prepares for the fateful day that she will meet Officer Demi.

And this, my sim loving fans, is where I shall leave off, with Robert and Meadow making out beneath the mistletoe. But tune in next time, same sim channel to see what will become of the terror twins, will Dreama find out about the affair of Sandy and Remington, and who will rule this family legacy as the ugliest heir. Till then, may your Christmas be Platinum!