"You came back for more! You do realize there's ugly sims here! Turn back while you still can!"

Queenie tends to be a little melodramatic. But the Uglacies are the legacy family striving to produce the ugliest heir they can in 10 generations. We are currently at Generation 8. So let's dive right in, and if you haven't read the other chapters, well you might want to. Otherwise this may be a bit disorienting, but hey whatever works for you, our honored reader.

So the girl's are off to college, and the first thing Sidney sets her sights on is the Uglacy Greek House, a sorority set up years ago by Queenie, her grandmother. Right now it is being ran by a rather ugly sim called Dark Waters. And Sidney is working on kissing her butt, I mean befriending her of course!

"So you have to make sure I'm ugly enough? Well, whats a good day for you?"

Violet is much more interested in the secret society than a sorority house.

"So um, you realize you are my great, great grandfather Remington. Do you think you could put a good word in for me?"

"Hmmm, sure, but just don't let anyone know I'm a great, great grandfather, it would kind of kill my reputation with the ladies. Let's go with distant cousins."

You know, Gage so took after his dad, this guy is romance and he is always on every lot I take my girls, chatting it up with the ladies. It makes me miss Gage. :( I love my little, ugly sims, I really do.

"You, lardass! Drop and give me 50."

Look, it's my P.E coach from seventh grade, the one with no life!

"Gads this sucks! I'm lazy, what the hell is wrong with these people having expectations for me!"

Now, now, Sidney, you are the romance sim and we have to have you looking hot. I know it's hard, but you do want all those woohoos.

"But some guys like big butts!"

Yeah, but I really don't want to try to fit that in the camera angle, so shape up, mmkay?

"Ewww, gross! I am so not attracted to that girl!"

That's a good thing Ralph Uglacy!!! Cause you're related, you freak!

"Hey, don't I know you?"

"Yeah, I'm Stormy Uglacy, daughter of Damien Uglacy, distant cousin of yours. And don't talk to me, because I have absolutely no nice points, none, nada, so buzz off."

"But I'm looking to get into the secret society."

"Will you help me drag unwilling victums to the cowplant?"

"Sure."

"Well, ok, I'll see what I can do, but only cuz you're an Uglacy."

"Eh hey there, Professor Warren, I'm really wanting a first kiss, and I figured it might not hurt my grade as well, although I have absolutely no chemistry with you."

"That's ok, Sidney, chemistry is so over-rated. Let's get this over, shall we?"

"Gads, shoot me now... seriously."

Hey you're the romance sim rolling up wants for a kiss, and we do have a 4.0 to maintain, so this is like killing two birds with one stone.

Kaching, kaching, the beautiful ring of aspiration points.

I rule at romance sims, well I ought to, after all, ugly sims are always romance. It must be some law of the Maxis Gods.

"That first kiss was so blah. Please give me someone else to woohoo."

"I don't know Miss Uglacy, I don't think that was an A+ seduction."

Well, fine then, Sidney's heart wasn't in it, and who can blame her you bow-tied creep.

Look, it's Chuckina Norris, Texas Power Ranger.

Seriously, is this townie's outfit a bit much or what?

Chezzy! You finally make an appearance while I am having Sidney seduce her professor.

"Yes, and frankly it is killing the joy of this... this dessert. Is it Baked Alaskan, Chocolate Mousse, whatever, can't you take that smooching nastiness somewhere else?"

Chezzy writes Lucy's Life by the way, not a legacy, but don't hold that against her. It's a good story!

So meanwhile, Sidney returns to the dorms to this... the Uglacy Sorority sisters are here to see if Sidney is Uglacy material.

A fine looking lot of girls aren't they. Sort of like Spring Break held in the village of the damned. Wouldn't want to see a video of Girls Gone Wild with this bunch, would you?

"Man, I can't believe I have to do this. What a bunch of dorks. Then again they do have a hot tub and a double bed. And connections, and I could go both ways... if only one of them were decent looking that is."

The thoughts of a romance sim.

"You really don't think you can pull those social glasses off with me, do you? Now chase me around the dorm some more and beg to be in our Greek House. If you can catch me, that is."

Isn't it precious the way the Greek members run all over your dorm to avoid talking with your sim? GRRRRR.

"Hey dead girl, what's up?"

"I'm Meadow Thayer, and I hate your family. Your cowplant killed me."

"Uh, no, your skankiness and stupidity killed you. Always hanging around our house, hoping to marry in and infiltrate our gene pool. Well what did all that prettiness get you missy? Huh?"

"Wierdos. Most legacies can't wait to have me, you freaks."

On the plus side, Meadow had a tough time running away, zombies are so slow, so she was an easy relationship to build.

"Wow, you are ugly! You are so in!"

"Hey, what? I'm not that ugly. Don't you need to think about this, vote on it or something?"

"No, no, it anonymous!!! Sidney... Sidney... Sidney!!!"

"Oh shut up you idiots."

Quickly following Sidney's initiation, her sister Violet finally fullfills her dream.

"Hey man, like who brought her? Even our cowplant won't eat that."

"Hmmm, the standards must be dropping."

Oh yeah, like you have a lot of room to judge, you Komei wannabe! Look in the mirror lately?

"She can't be allowed in, she is so not Secret Society material!"

Renee LeTorneau, Brandi's little sister, which explains her charming personality. For those of you who don't know, Brandi is one of the meanest townines around. Just check out Neonhorn's legacy if you don't believe me.

"Who is this snot nosed witch with a bad haircut anyway?"

Violet and Renee seriously did not hit it off, I thought they would fight, but someone else jumped in before they could.

"Hey, that's my great, great grand daughter, I mean cousin that you're talking about Renee!"

"I'm body slamming you Remington, you ape faced mutation!"

"We'll see about that Renee!"

"Ouch, that hurt. I'm telling."

"Shut up witch, and get you and your broomstick out of here!"

"I'm going to get you Remi, you and your little dog too."

"I don't have a dog."

"Well when Maxis makes unleashed again I'm comming back for your damn dog, ok?!"

"Here everyone, let's have some hamburgers and make nice, ok?"

"Hamburgers?! But you're an Uglacy, the only reason we voted you in was to get some of that famous Chili."

Speaking of which, Songsmith has been wanting to meet her idol for a long time now, so I send her down to Don's Chili Palace. And Don couldn't wait to serve her a bowl of his famous chili.

"Songsmith! I've heard about your Shakespearean Legacy. Ok...ok, watch this, To Add spice, or Not to add spice, that is the question. So what do you think? I could also do Romeo, I've already got the dying part down."

"Um, that's really nice Don, but the parts are all taken."

"Great. Be a Joy kill. One bowl of chili comming up."

MMMmmm mmmm good. Or not.

Just like mom use to make when you were five, in fact, it's that very same bowl ten years later.

"MMm, that chili smells so good."

Mythmil must not be a picky eater. But she's not really been quite right after the death of her beloved Gage. She really does wander my town and cry sometimes. It's heart-wrenching.

*Mythmil-DeCendant Legacy

"Ha, ha, ha!!!"

What's so funny, Queenie?

Oh, Songsmith is dancing.

With a severly constipated look on her face. It could be food poisoning from the chili, but hey, I think she had fun. So what's a little Botulism?

And at the Legacy household, Goopy continues to run the car lot, and grow old... but he grows old fashionably of course.

"Man, another day of dealing with simselfs."

"And so I am really disappointed that you don't have a cash register."

"But we do have a cash register."

"Well I don't see one, and another thing, I know you've been selling the batmobile to more then one simself and saying that it was the actual batmobile owned by Bruce Wayne. So how many Batmans were there? Huh?"

"Actually quite a few and..."

"And then there's the issue of your dirty toilets..."

JFed was not a happy camper. But it seems only fitting that she should lecture Goopy since theirs is a love-hate relationship... without the love.

JFed is currently working on We Live in A Shoe... a ten kid challenge that's a must read.

And the Uglacies implore other ways to earn a buck.

"Oh, Mitch, how tired you must be with all your constant firefighting. Let me rub your back for you."

"Wow, thanks, Emily Rose. Although the oxygen tank is kind of in the way."

"Now that we're best friends, why don't you move in Mitch."

"Uh ok."

Hey wait, are those make-out lips over your head Emily?

"You told me to befriend him."

Befriend!!! Not seduce.

"Uh, hi Firemen, what are you doing here? There's no fire is there?"

"No, no, I just moved in. I'm in love with..."

"Legacy families, Blair, he loves Legacy families, isn't that sweet?"

Nice save, Emily.

"So it's been really nice living with you for 5 minutes Mitch, but why don't you find your own place now?"

"But I can't go to college."

"The sim bin will do nicely, Mitch. Now write us a check for the 18,000 and get out. Don't let the door hit you in the oxygen tank on the way out."

"Oh honey, you know that fireman meant nothing to me, we just need to get rid of all those decent NPC's and find more ones like you."

Slurp, mmmf *insert gross kissing noises*

On a side note, Mitch Lawson was ugly, but he wasn't ugly enough. I have very high standards for ugliness.

"Hey, pretty delivery girl, how about you give up this no end job and move in with us. We have chili."

"Alright!"

"I'm starving to death... can no one see this!"

"Uh, ok dear, why don't you go over to the refrigerator and eat. You know, that big metal box with the food in it."

Yeah Queenie, the one I've clicked on for you ten times now, geesh!

"I'm so tired! Why can't I go to bed?!"

Mmkay, Queenie, I give up, why can't you go to bed, I've clicked on that repeatedly for you as well. Seriously, Queenie is a pain. It's all about her needs, needs, needs. Ugh!!!

And Don of course comes over to visit frequently. He and Sparky are best friends, and love to play chess. Unfortunatly, Don cheats... all the time. I feel sorry for Sparky.

"So Sparky, did you know that pawns can actually move sideways."

"That would be incorrect Mr. Don."

"No, no Sparky, I'm telling you, in European chess playing, the pawn can move to the side."

"I need to check my database on that..."

"Well I was just saying, but, hey Sparky, is that a UFO behind you?"

"Oh look, I win again."

"But that pawn could not have..."

"Now, now Sparky, don't be a sore loser."

"Look Mr. Don, it is a woman with huge mammary glands in the driveway."

"Nice try, Sparky, you're learning."

So flashing back to college, I decide the dorm will need a placeholder when the girls move into the Uglacy Greek House. And I chose Alvin Patch, the teen townie that Emily Rose once dated to move to college. When he came sporting a pink leapord suit, I nearly fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

What are you majoring in Alvin? Pimping 101? No, he is not romance to spite his look. He's popularity.

"So Sidney, how'd you like to be my b!tch, my whore?"

"Oh Alvin, it sounds fantastic. And woohoo for a living! What romance sim wouldn't want that?"

"Good Grief, you lip-locked freaks, I've got Macaroni and cheese to make, so get a room! Or at least wear a hairnet if you insist on hanging out in my kitchen, especially you brillo head."

"So heres the plan, Sidney. I tell all the guys on campus I am running an escort service."

"An elite escort service?"

"Uh, let's not push it, ok. I think when I hand out the discount coupons, it will kind of give it away."

"What if they want something kinky? You know, like butter or other condiments?"

"That's actually a bar of gold there, Sid."

"Ok, well if they want to knock me over the head with a bar of gold?"

"Just tell em it'll cost extra. I mean if they are going to be knocking you around, there will be medical expenses to think of."

"Wow, Alvin, it's so good to know you put my welfare first."

"Hey Sid, it's just the kind of sugar daddy I am."

Soon after her encounter with Alvin, Sidney takes off for the Greek House, only half way thru her freshman year, and she is already accepted to the sorority. Once there, she can pull the political strings to get Violet in.

Aww, the Uglacy Greek House. Fasten your seatbeat as I introduce you to the lovelies that Sidney will be living with. Dark Waters, the senoir and leading sister of the sorority, unfortunatly, or fortunatly... she won't be with us long. She's graduating and heading off to do whatever these PSG sims of Katnicks do, reek havoc and spread ugliness I think.

"Oink, oink, look how pretty I've become!"

Yeah right Dark, by the way you have confetti hanging out your nose.

Next up, Claudia Uglacy who was Emily Rose's sister, AKA Sidney's aunt.

"So they booted me out to college as a spare, because they said I was too pretty. Never mind my non-existent nose and football-field forehead. Can you believe that?!"

And then there's Angel, just some college dormie that I had Dark pledge. However, she has turned out to be quite interesting. She's really mean and outgoing, and she likes her sisters... really likes her sisters if you get my drift. Angel truly is attracted to the same sex sim.

"So you're romance, right? How about we get together, and bond. You know, a little pillow-fighting, some popcorn, a casual woohoo or two."

"Whoa Angel, just what I had in mind!"

Typical romance sim. Well at least she's all platinum now.

And then there's Solveign, who to spite her dream to be the next Martha Stewart, couldn't bake a pie to save her life.

And she has a face like that burnt pie, so she fits right in.

Then there's poor Meadow Thayer, who just wouldn't leave my Uglacy family alone, and this is what happened.

"You could have brought me back for 10,000! I didn't have to be a zombie. It just ruined my whole look!"

Yeah, yeah, should have, could have, would have. Look at the bright side, well there isn't one, is there?

And last, but not least... Rachel Uglacy, the daughter of Gage Uglacy and Mythmil's simself. Now I think Rachel is actually beautiful and has an exotic look for a sim, she got Gage's cheekbones, but in a supermodel kind of way, and Mythmil's custom skin, and is a natural redhead. I still can't believe she is an Uglacy.

All I can say is Mythmil throws pretty babies even in the face of disaster. And although she's pretty, she's Gage's daughter and I just had to have her here.

So Sidney fits right in to her new home.

"Man there is nothing like woohoo with the repairman."

"Well maybe prisoners. You know, all that being locked up and all. And their orange jumpsuits, what a turn on."

"Ugh, a zombie!"

"What are you gagging about, monkey girl... you ain't no genie in a bottle."

"You perverted sicko, I saw you peeking into our dorm! Well I don't fly that way, and girls like you should be kicked out of Academie Le Tour, We don't need your kind!"

"Oh yeah, miss rose-colored glasses! How'd you like a can of whoopa$$ with a side of humility, cause I'm just the kind to dish that up."

Yeah, mess with my meanest sorority sister, you tease... everyone knows you leave your window shades up on purpose. Pfff. And Angel, don't make me take the telescope away again.

"Why doesn't anyone eat my pie?! I don't understand. I made pie for the party."

"Back off you home-ec freak, your pie taste like fruit-flavored charcoal."

Of course Sidney invites her sister to the party.

"Man, these are like the best quality bubbles on the whole campus. We should get arrested."

Angel~ "Yeah, I so hope they send that fine-looking Demi cop, what I wouldn't do to get handcuffed by her."

"Doesn't anyone want a piece of my pie? Anyone??? Anyone at all?"

Solveign, you should know better then to compete with Uglacy chili especially with burnt pie.

"So sis, now that we've completed our freshman year, how about moving in to the Greek House."

"Love to."

And the circle of life... *sniff, sniff* continues.

"Oh dear, that's another one of my nieces? I think I'm going to hurl."

"I'm not going to eat your pie Solveign. So back off!"

Just another day at the sorority.

Renee LeTornueau, why are you suspiciously standing by a now broken water faucett at our party???

"I know nothing of your broken plumbing. I'm just hanging out, waiting for a fight with someone, anyone."

I saw you bust it Renee...*glares daggers at this annoying sim*

"We know you broke that faucett Sidney."

"What, no, it wasn't me. I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's considered a misdeamor 411, vandalism against plumbing, I'll have to take you in."

"What the hell are you talking about lady, I didn't break that faucett, Renee did!"

"Don't resist arrest, Sidney, we know about your stash of bubbles in the other room. Just come along nicely."

"Bubbles..." *sweats nervously* "I ain't got no bubbles man."

"This song is dedicated to my wayward niece...

I hear that train ah comming,
It's comming round the bend,
and I ain't seen the sunshine,
since I don't know when.

I'm stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps moving on..."

"Oh my Gawd, Sidney's been arrested. For Bubble distrubution and Faucett hampering... I swear I didn't know anything about it. I'm innocent, innocent, I tell ya!"

"Oh great wise, ugly thing, welcome to the secret society abode."

"Well this doesn't look like Folsom."

"Oh my great, great grandaughter, she's so hot."

Icky, icky, and more icky.

"You incestual perv! You got her in didn't you, you got the whole society to vote for her!"

"Renee, wait, I can explain..." Three words men love to utter.

***Whack!!!***

"Take that! You got her voted in for your own creepy wants! Some president you are!"

"You dare to question my leadership, Renee, everyone knows you've been vandalizing plumbing all over campus!"

"Have not!"

"Have so!"

Poke, poke, slap, slap... ect... you get the picture.

"That will teach you, Renee, you are not strong enough to challenge the mighty steed that leads this herd."

"One day, Remington, one day this society will be mine!"

"Oh Remington, thanks for standing up for me at the secret society. You're the best grandpa ever..."

*slurp, smooch, kiss*

Hey wait a minute, that doesn't look like a family kiss to me!

"Miguel creepystalkerman that has never left the Uglacies alone, marry me, so eventually you can move into the sim bin with me and never be heard of again!"

"Oh my gosh! Finally I can live a life, instead of watching everyone elses!"

Yeah, right, for like a whole 5 minutes.

"I really would have preferred if Solveign had given me a diamond necklace, but I took the ring."

Creepy, I tell ya, he's just plain creepy.

Meanwhile, Meadow gets some loving too, with um, don't know, some dormie. Does it matter really?

And who gets rejected for her first kiss??? Why the pretty girl of course, Rachel!

"I'm sorry Rachel, I'm just not that kind of guy."

Grrr... Kent that is one way to come to an untimely death in my game.

"Besides, your mom is so much hotter."

Creep! Making googoo eyes at MythMil. Take your Mrs. Robinson fantasy and hit the road!

"Professor Walter, I realize that all this tutor time has made me fall in love with you. By the way, how much do you college professors earn a year?"

A fortune sim always has priorities.

"Solveign!!! Have you been making pies again?!"

"I hate these Uglacy girls, I hate them and all that they stand for! I need to infiltrate their sorority house. It's the only way I can take them down."

Renee seriously has issues.

"So you want to join our house? Wow, Renee, this is so unexpected, I thought you hated us."

"Don't be silly Sidney. Everyone knows this is the most unique sorority on campus."

"Well ok, but you do realize you have to write my term paper for me."

"Sure... sure, what are sworn to the death enemies... I mean friends... for."

"Hey baby, what's up with the cash flow. You bring me two dollars and fifty cents and a pack of gum, and a box of girl scout cookies?"

"It's been a tough week Alvin, I'm a little down on business."

"But girl scout cookies? Never mind, I don't want to know."

Sidney, I don't know what you're doing out on the porch with your great, great grandfather, and I'm not even going to address this caption.

But I hope you get more than a box of girl scout cookies, that's all I'm saying.

"Oh mom, I'm so glad you could come to one of our parties."

"Why thanks for inviting me Rachel."

"I should warn you our parties get a bit out of hand."

"Don't be silly, Rachel, I mean how bad could it be?"

Oh dear Lord, MythMil, now that you've asked...

"Solveign, everyone is sick of your cooking, let's just order a pizza and call it good."

"No, Violet, I am making a pie and that's that!"

"NO one wants your blacken, radioactive, charred mess of a pie Solveign!"

"Oh yeah!!!"

"You're in my personal space monkey girl!"

"No, you're in mine Uglacy freak!"

"Back off!"

"YOU back off witch!"

"Owww, stop pulling my hair you loser!"

"Lice, oh yum, I've found lice!" Ahh, a nice high-protein snack for monkey girl.

"Kill her, kill her!"

That's a bit much don't you think, Meadow. You really need to stop watching reruns of Ben Hur.

"Why that skank, she makes out with everyone! Just look at her Renee!"

"That's an Uglacy romance sim for you, no class."

Rachel was very upset by Sidney's constant making out, although she never touched Rachel's boyfriend. I guess Rachel just had standards.

Or maybe she just liked to fight like her mom before her. Either way, my sims were attacking each other all over the place.

I can't imagine why the party is a dud right now. I mean talk about entertainment.

Renee was highly amused tho.

"Alright, they all kicking each others butts! Pop some popcorn and break out the fruit keg!"

"What are you laughing about, you LeTorneau snot! How about I smack you down!"

*Smmmaaaaack*

"Oh crap, my hand just fell off."

"And so Lucy, it's a great sorority, there's so much sisterly love here, how about you pledge right in?"

"Oh my, I'm flattered. Say are they fighting?"

"No, no, of course not. They're just practicing some new dance steps."

"Oh Kent, I'm so glad you came around! You know I've wanted you all through college."

"Of course you have, Rachel, because gosh darn it, I'm just the cutest sim boy on campus."

"Yeah, whatever! Can you move the hell out of my way now so I can toss the trash, is that too much to ask?!"

Renee ruins the moment, but I'm beginning to like her.

"Hey everyone! How about some crispy grilled cheese!"

When is this sim ever going to figure out cooking?

"Excuse me, excuse me, how much more of her making out with every sim in town am I going to have to watch! This is nauseating!"

Now, now Renee, a real undercover spy would buck up here.

"RAH, RAH, RAH, give me a U, give me a G, give me an L..."

"How about I give you a fat lip for waking me up you cheerleading moron!"

"It's crazy in that house, I tell ya, sheer crazy!"

"Arrrrgh... I'm not gold anymore, oh crap! And my nostrils are being electrified, bad day, real bad day!"

I hate when this happens.

"Mom, finally I'm graduating!"

"Oh honey, we're so proud, where's your sister Violet?"

"She's finishing up her finals. College is almost done!"

"Grandma... noooo!"

"What, I don't see my reflection over here. Are you sure there's a mirror lady?"

"You batty old zombie, how dare you hit me, the finest specimen of male sim on campus with a water baloon... why I ought to..."

"Cry like a little girly man... boohoohoo."

Serves you right Kent, and you want to know the best part, Queenie did it all of her own accord. Teach you to reject an Uglacy for a kiss.

"Wait a minute here! I know I'm a romance sim but this is ridiculous! Do I look like a multi-bracelet and pink scarf kind of gal, well do I?!"

Well now it's time to announce the results. And the votes went to Sidney for the heirship.

"What, hey no way! I didn't agree to this. I demand a re-count!"

Sorry Sid, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Until next time, thanks to everyone who voted, all the simselfs that dared to make an appearance, Shoo Flee and Boolprop.com forums, and all you great fans who make the Uglacies so much fun to write. Happy simming!