Meet the seventh generation of Uglacy... Emily Rose. I have high hopes for Emily, as I strive to get the ugliest sim in 10 generations possible... but I am starting to have trouble. My house is seriously lagging and my computer crashes, sometimes every 5 minutes. Legacies get trickier as time goes on. As you can see, Queenie decided to give up the life of a vampire for now, it's just too hard to be a good mom and get promoted when you have to sleep in a coffin all frigging day long. But you're not here to hear me whine... you want to see what lucky sim won a dream date with Goopy... Yes Goopy Uglacy is now leading the Uglacies into the next generations.

Goopy is a romance sim, and thus needs to fullfill his everlasting wants for love.

Well if it isn't koko150...

"Hey I did not agree to this!"

I just pay the gypsy, koko, it's not my fault you signed up with such a questionable dating service. I mean look at that gypsy... she ain't Harmony.com, if you know what I mean.

"Ha, ha, have fun koko."

"Thanks a lot Forevescuba. It could have been you, you know."

"No way, I'm a teen. I don't have to worry about Gage or Goopy Uglacy."

Yeah, go ahead and feel safe Rhea, just wait till I get a teenage boy Uglacy. Hee, hee, you are so going to be a first kiss... :D

"So like I'm curious Goopy, why did you bring me to a graveyard for a date? I mean, like wow, talk about a place for a dream date."

"Well it is a great place to be alone and make out."

"Uh, no Goopy, not in a million years."

"Oh my God, what are you doing?!"

"I'm busting moves for you baby."

"Yeah, great, can I go home now? Before you hurt yourself."

"Wow dancing in front of a public bathroom, just what I always wanted in a date."

Hey, you just told Goopy you wanted to slow dance... don't try to play all innocent now.

"Yeah like at nightclub... not the local cemetary!"

"Oh my little flower, I am but a bumblebee, longing to taste your nectar."

"Oh Goopy, that's almost... sweet."

"How about we pollinate in the car."

"Ewww. You're rolling them nasty wants aren't you?"

"I can't help it, beautiful, I am a romance sim."

"Sorry Goopy, but your time is up. Better luck with the next sim self."

"Not even some smooching?!"

"Yeah, I know, but in the words of Happy Bunny... 'You're Icky'. See ya Goopy."

Seriously, koko, you are a difficult, high-maintenance date! Like give the guy a break, you wouldn't even let him hug you! Broke poor little Goopy's heart.

Meanwhile, back at the Uglacy household, Rhea decided to have some grilled cheese with the family. That's right Rhea, just ignore Don and Samara making out all over the place, that's just common Uglacy stuff.

"So what's with all the zombies around here, and doesn't it gross you out that they are making out while we're eating?"

"What zombies? Making out??? Are they girl zombies? Are they hot? Do they mud wrestle?"

Typical Gage.

"Geesh man, that Gage is one sicko. I got to get out of here before I hit adulthood, I don't want that creep rolling any wants for me."

Forevescuba does the Walt Disney Legacy and the Palmer legacy by the way. Both are very good reads. She kept trying not to make a sim self, but I finally found hers... muhahaha.

Oh look, we have another visitor. You remember Regan Uglacy, Queenie's sister. She came over and so did Sluhboy08... who writes the Captain's legacy. Now I have had a lot of simself in my legacy and I have to say... Sluhboy is the meanest. I mean, he gives the Uglacies a bad time, constantly pranking and annoying. I don't know what I did to his personality...but I figure he is a pirate, so it fits.

"Arrrgh, girley, if I were pillanging and you were the only lass on the whole island, I think I'd get me a monkey for company first. I've seen one-legged, two dollar wrenches with scurvy that looked better than you."

Red Alert, Red Alert... that thing is mutating in the dining room!

Oh my, what big eyes you have.

"All the better to give you those creepy stares you don't like."

Great. *mumbles* Next time I am so doing a good-looking legacy.

"Ha, ha, you're not a real redhead are you? I see those dark roots."

"Man, stop it, you're so cruel. I am so a real redhead."

"You know, maybe I could use you on my boat, stick you at the front like Santa did with Rudolph. So all the other pirates could see me comming, ha, ha, ha."

"Man you are sadistic. I think I'm going to cry."

"Why shiver my timbers, we've got leak from Mr. Clairol, Bozo Orange #34."

I decided that I needed one more chance to get an ugly sim from Goopy. So Queenie and Goopy got to it, but I just hit the whoohoo button and look away. It's the way I have to breed Uglacies, it's not a pretty job, but someone has to do it.

Gage is getting up there, and so I let him splurge and spend 5000 on a perfect date. Whoever shall he get? Who is the perfect date for Gage Uglacy?

Dear lord...

It's Dark Waters. Now there's a baby I wouldn't want to see. Well Gypsy woman, I am impressed, she almost seems to know I'm going for an Ugly legacy, or maybe it's that she always finds the ugliest sim around, especially when you fork out a lot of money.

They hit it off, lightning bolts a flying... but it wasn't very pretty to watch.

I'm blind, blind I say!!! Look away, if you look directly at it, it could burn your retinas!

"Aren't we adorable?!"

Normally, these sort of pictures are really cute in a legacy story... but mine are more disturbing than cute. Genetics gone horribly wrong.

And the magic begins...

"Hmmph, she looks like sh..."

My sentiments exactly, Emily. Look at you Claudia, you almost look decent. I haven't time for this. It's off to college with you.

Oh, don't feel too bad for her, she rolled knowledge and is begging for it. Teen years are so overated anyway. And we have another Uglacy on the way. And this house is lagging and glitching terribly. And I'm lazy... take your pick.

When my blurred censors went off... that was it. I mean I do not want to see these sims naked. And if I showed you the back view...*shudders* let's just say it could cause post-traumatic stress. So I finally decided, after my computer crashed for the umpteenth time, that the Uglacies had to move again! That and seeing Goopy naked. The time had come.

I moved them to a new lot, and built a totally different-styled house. I figured this was the Goopy era, and I would give them a nice 70's, Austin Powers meets the Brady Bunch look.

By the way, for all of you who have asked me to upload the Uglacies to the exchange... I have tried. But it keeps timing out, but I'll keep trying so you keep checking. Although, do you really want Uglacies in your neighborhoods?

"Oh for the love of God, don't make us go in there."

Don, you'll love it. Remember shag carpeting, and when burnt orange was in! I mean it's flower power time! But seriously, I began to think something was wrong with my sims, they wouldn't enter the house. I even checked free will, thinking it had been turned off. Eventually, when they were hungry enough, they went inside.

Let me give you a tour, a cozy woodstove ensembled by a tangerine sectional couch makes up the livingroom. Lovely, no?

The kicthen says... remember when bright yellow was actually used in interior decorating?

And a sultry, lime-green bathroom takes you away to fantasy island... where using the bathroom is not just a necessarity but an adventure...

Completed by a loft bedroom so everyone can hear the echoes of woohoo throughout the entire house. Yes, bow to my architectural genuis. But wait, wherever will I keep the legacy urns?

Um, well, I forgot to build a masoleum, so I figured why not the garage!!! Why nothing says respect to the dead like old tires and oil stains. And note the spiffy candy apple red Mustang... my favorite car! Which I found at Mod The Sims.

And as a real treat, I built a pool, because frankly, Don is getting fat with all the grilled cheese I'm pushing at him. So come on Emily Rose, take a dive.

"Oh no, I've heard about these pools in legacies. You lure the ugly kid out there, and then wham, the ladder is gone, and it's Hasta La Vista."

Don't be silly Emily. We don't kill ugly sims! We kill pretty ones. This is the Uglacy Legacy.

"Oh yeah, well in that case cannnnoooonballll!!!"

And of course the grimster shows up in my itsy bitsy bathroom, grrrr. And to add more insult he rips threw our brand new shower curtain with his sycthe... thanks a lot buddy.

"Alright Gage, your numbers up, lets get going."

"But wait, surely someone in my family wants to say goodbye."

*crickets chirping.* All the Uglacies were sound asleep and could care less.

When Samara showed up, I thought she was there to mourn for her only son... but boy was I wrong.

"Shoo, get the hell out of here. I'm an old lady, and I need to pee. What the heck, party in the bathroom? Move it you bone collectors. Find your own toilet."

"Damn Grimster, always hogging the bathroom."

Do you notice something missing, Samara, like your son perharps? Sadly, no one ever did miss Gage. Emily Rose cried once, but I think that was more so she could get out of her homework.

So long Gage Uglacy, you were fun to play... I'll say that.

Why did I show a final picture of him with Mel... well... you see I don't usually read the will and testament stuff... cause it's boring. But Gage really did like Mel apparently. He only had that one date with her and he left her $760. Whoa... don't spend it all in one place Mel.

Gage Uglacy, son of Samara Uglacy and Remington (from college)
Passed away at 84
LTW: Hall of Famer- Achieved
Spouse: Carmen Patch
Children: Regan Uglacy and Queenie (from an alien encounter of the worse kind)
Also Rachel Uglacy... illegimate child of simself Mythmil
Secret Ability: The casanova of sim selfs... he rolled more wants for simselfs than I could list.
He has to hold the record... I know it.

"Mom I need help with my homework."

"Arrrgh, in a minute, Emily Rose, I'm kind of in the middle of something."

Well that kid definitly takes after mom, and can you believe it, a third girl!!! The Uglacies are definitly girl-inclined. Meet Rhoda... can you guess where I got that name from? There was a very old movie about a little girl who was a serial killer. It was called "The Bad Seed." She was a precious little thing, drowning her schoolmates, trapping and burning the janitor. Her mother tries to poison her at the end. So Rhoda it is. Complete with blue eyes!

Goopy's been promoted to astronaut... probably so they can send him far, far away. Actually it was a chance card I got right.

But I wonder, is he smart enough to see that there is something a bit "different" about his own child? Or his wife for that matter? And furthermore do astronaut suits really have an EA games label on them? Questions to ponder.

Since he is such a clever astronaut and all, I set him to fixing things. Here, he is fixing the bathtub... long distanced.

The glitches just keep getting crazier.

Don of course latches on to the baby immediatly.

"There there, Rhoda, when you kill all the people in this family, you won't kill grandpoppa Don, will you. No you won't sweetie."

Samara, on the other hand, isn't particularly fond of babies.

"Gads that thing stinks!"

"Grandma, you stink too, you smell of decayed flesh, so lighten up on the baby."

"I can't take this anymore. You're making me eat grilled cheese night and day."

Don we're almost there. Bear with me buddy.

*plop*

"I think you're working Grandpa Don too hard. Really."

Pfft, what do you know Queenie... you're nice!!!

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Yeah, and your point???

"Isn't this baby beautiful, Samara?"

"Eh whatever, Don. Just looks like a wailing brat to me. What were you before I got you to stick your head in the aspiration thingie? Family??? Thank God we changed that, or you probably would have wanted me to have ten kids... and I would have had to hurt you Don."

"You did hurt me, my little flower. Actually you killed me."

"Hey, I brought you back. And technically it was the cowplant. You just had to have that cake."

Yeah, pffft, whose stupid enough to fall for that, *whistling innocently* Ignore the chapter where my simself got killed, ok?!!! That was totally different.

Meanwhile, down at the Knotty Pines Motel...

"Dorian, I've fallen in love with you."

"Oh Goopy, I've fallen for you too."

Anytime now, they are going to jump up and sing YMCA. Its what men in uniform do.

Not everyone is happy tho,

"Dorian how could you. Why just last week you told me I was the love of your life, and now you're out with Goopy Gilsbaro! I feel so used, you selfish cad. You've ripped my heart out and stomped all over it."

"Um, yeah, sorry about that. Can you bring out the dessert tray?"

Cel, what is your simself doing back in the kitchen. Look, it's Cel, she writes the Phoenix legacy!

"I have a part time job as a health inspector. I'm checking to see if they run a clean kitchen."

Well you should turn around then... somehow I don't think that's proper technique for washing glasses. And I think that waitress is trying to stare you down...

And who do we find on the swingsets of the Knotty Pines Hotel... JFizzle, seriously this has to stop. You are addicted to swingsets. Everywhere I go, I find you swinging away.

"Well I have to do something when I'm not writing the Ryno legacy."

Play poker like real sim men!!! Geesh!

Um excuse me, JFizzle, Cel! Goopy and Dorian are in a hotel room for a reason. They want some alone time!!! Seriously, this happened. I honestly do not make this stuff up. It ruined the whole scene I was going to do *pouts*.

"And so I saw the waiter cleaning glasses with his sleeve. Ewww. So can you make an arrest?"

"Well, although completly unsanitary, I don't think it's a criminal offense. However I'll speak with the chief about this. Maybe we can apply some indirect threats to the establishment."

"I'm leaving, ain't going to get any action here. That redhead won't shut up."

Sorry about that Goopy. Simselfs can just be so rude. I swear, they are worse than townies. Ruined Goopy's chances of woohoo! Like Dorian is so interesting to talk to. Ha. Thanks Cel, thanks a lot. And JFizzle probably wants someone to push him on the swingset! Ugh!

"This legacy isn't any fun!!! There's nothing to do!"

Emily Rose is the most difficult child I have ever had to keep happy. Its all about her needs!!! Gads, so go play in the pool I built for you, you ungrateful brat!

Meanwhile, baby#3 is ready to transition. Really Goopy, I think you can get out of the astronuat outfit now. And doesn't Samara looked thrilled.

And I give Rhoda a quick makeover... I think alien babies are so cute!!! But who will be heir... only time will tell.

Going where countless fingers have gone before...

The customary toddler picking nose picture. Aliens can never learn too early how to probe.

Another simself graces our Uglacy home. Meet Julie who writes a legacy based on Paris Hilton, she must have gotten tired of that pretty, little vain founder, and came to enjoy a taste of the uglier side of life. It's a very good legacy by the way. But I heard Paris is demanding more money and is just difficult to work with. Poor Julie.

"Wow, this bathroom is awesome! Let's stand around and visit in the smallest room in the house."

And Goopy is looking a bit confused by Julie... but then, he's always confused. Or maybe he just needs to pee really bad and they are all in the way.

Now the plan was to treat Julie to some of Don's grilled cheese, but in the middle of serving it up, Carrie popped up to haunt. It seems my ghosts are more active since we moved. Well Don promptly put the grilled cheese down on the floor...

Oh dear, that face doesn't look good.

Julie, meanwhile, seems oblivious to it all. Waiting anxiously for her grilled cheese.

I know they smell good, Julie, but you might want to rethink those grilled cheese.

Oh yeah.

"Yippee, Grandpa's pee puddle!!!"

Glad you could get some use out of it, Rhoda. Apparently the smart milk does not actually make the toddler any smarter.

Carrie Uglacy, that was not very nice.

"When was I ever nice?!"

Good point.

Poor Carmen Patch, she floats around aimlessly, much like she did in real life.

Gage tends to wander the house, and really likes to spook sims when they are running on empty. He's going to kill one someday. One can hope. Goopy, Gage, get Goopy...

And Komeii, he just seems to be pissed off about being a ghost in general.

"The Komeii man can not pump up anymore, all I do is float around like a poof of smoke. And you moved us into this Retro house of the ugliest colors known to mankind. And to add more insult, you put our urns in the garage!"

Well it's a nice garage. I added a potted plant, what more could you want?

Oops, nearly killed the gardener. Well correction, her stupidity nearly killed her. Hello, Ericka, just step over the teeny, weeny bamboo skirting and go home. I actually had to put move_objects on and move her. Normally, I might let the gardener die, but after reading JFed's legacy, I like Ericka. So I saved her... this time.

Remember Mythmil, Gage's mistress and writer of the DeCendant legacy, well, she is sending her "baby" off to college today. The love child of Mil and Gage Uglacy, but she didn't turn out like the other Uglacies.

Oh no, you are not an Uglacy, it's not possible.

Mythmil must have genetic overdrive... I mean she throws a pretty baby in spite of Gage Uglacy... now that's impressive. Rachel is one hot cookie.

But she couldn't wait to leave home, Mythmil and HurriKaty still fight over Gage. Hello guys, he's dead, and he left $760 to Hiddenunderabed.

"He what?!"

"Oh, we are so going to get her!"

"Her trash can is mine!"

"No it's mine!"

Back at the Uglacy Household, Emily Rose was about to... well you know the drill.

Another birthday... *yawn*

She and her sister Claudia celebrated with a rousing pillow fight by the pool to celebrate her transition into teenhood.

But Uglacy pillow fights can get pretty vicious.

"Ow, I think I lost a tooth!"

Teeth thru Chin disease... a terrible afflication that affects sim toddlers everywhere. Unable to teeth properly, these poor children become horrendous outcasts of society, permantly scarred and unable to eat a simple teething biscuit. But there is hope. Send your donations now to me... I mean "Saving Toddler's Teeth" which just happens to me at my address. It's my mission, really. No need to thank me, it's just the kind of gal I am.

You know I had Gage fix at least 10 trash compactors with less mechanical points than Queenie here, and did this ever happen...NOOO!

"Arrrrgh!!!"

Sorry about that Queenie, I really didn't want to fry you. I figured it would be a piece of cake for you. Another theory of mine, nice sims have more bad stuff happen to them. You can't kill a mean sim as easily.

Don stop looking at me like that! This was an accident, I swear!

"Ever hear of a repairman?"

Shut up Don, go make some grilled cheese or something.

EEe gads.

"Mommy, why do you smell like burnt cookies?"

"Because our creator is an idiot, Rhoda."

Excuse me, here's a thought you ever brillant sim... unplug the compactor first. Helllooo!

Electrifying oneself to fix electrifying oneself?

Seems all wrong to me... but hey, who am I to question the great wisdom of Maxis.

Didn't we just do this? *sigh*

Come on kid, blow out the candles, we have a schedule to keep. By the way, no party for this kid. She fears it in her panel... already a wierdo, I can tell.

And hoarding a huge piece of cake, probably to avoid the grilled cheese all sims in this household are forced to eat, Rhoda transitions into childhood. In a rather spiffy green school uniform I might add. A secret wish to get into private school perharps? Well who am I to deny her birthday wish.

"Actually lady, I want a nintendo."

Yeah, right kid, pfft. I was kidding when I pretended I cared.

"Hey ho, there's a birthday party!"

A bit of a delayed reaction there Don. Look at those poor, glazed over zombie eyes from all those grilled cheese sandwiches. But he does have reason to celebrate. We are at grilled cheese #196... only 4 more to go!!!

And Headmaster B.J arrives.

"Ohh my, he's hot."

You really do need to get out more, Queenie.

"Wow I love this house, complete with a jazz-playing zombie."

Well Don is multi-talented. Wait till you eat the turkey he whipped up for you.

"Well Mrs. Uglacy, I had heard horror stories about this family, but I must say, I am rather impressed. Thank God you all found that zombie, because now we actually get a decent meal and some entertainment."

Dinner and a show... got to make those headmasters happy. And we didn't even have to schmooze, which was good seeing as charisma is not the Uglacies' strong point.

"Terrific family, classy, a shining example."

Either I am getting better at this, or B.J is one easy headmaster. Or he's an idiot. Or Goopy put some of that hydrophonic plant in his grilled cheese... whatever... we're private school material now.

"So Gypsy lady, how's about a date... no not with you, I need a simself immediatly. Goopy is low on aspirations here."

"You can't be serious. How could you do this to me?"

Meet Shiaine31... the creator of the Stark family. But we pulled her away from her legacy family momentarily for a hot date with Goopy.

"I've died and gone to sim hell. Help me."

"Ok Goopy, let me set a few ground rules for your simple mind. Don't touch... don't even think about touching, and don't speak unless I speak to you, and don't flirt, for the love of God, don't flirt with me."

"But what can I do?"

"You can tell me a joke... but just one. And admire me... I like that."

"Uh ok, you're really pretty Shiaine."

"Whoa buster... that was way too fast. You think I let anyone admire me. You were suppose to tell me a joke first... all romance sims know that."

Geesh Shiaine, a bit hard on Goopy aren't you?

The date did not go well.

Look at poor Goopy's face. He was a bit traumatized by it all. Thanks Shiaine for almost plummeting Goopy into near aspiration failure.

"No problem, anytime. Teach you to drag me out on a date with your sims. Now I got to get back to the Stark family."

Well not all my sims are romance incompetents.

Check out Don. He knows how to woo his woman. And he does... all the time. Which keeps Samara's little popularity heart all happy.

Don, my goodness you are getting quite a belly.

"Yeah, well you try eating 10 grilled cheese sandwiches a day and see how trim you are?!"

Well get back to swimming, tubby.

"This sucks. What I wouldn't do for a bowl of chili."

Soon, Don, soon.

"This is it... I feel it, my final grilled cheese."

Go Don... I'm so proud of you. *Wipes tear away* It's a Kodak moment.

"Hey Goopy! I did it, see that 25000 above my head. That's it for me man, no more grilled cheese!"

Now I should point out here my house is crashing within minutes of entering it, and I had a hard time getting here. I think it is because of Don and Samara, they have lived so long and have so many memories... its lagging and crashing the family. If I were a good legacy player, it would be time to cowplant Don and Samara, get their platinum urns...Grilled cheese and Popularity, both of which I need... but I think we have already established that I am not a good legacy player. So...

I moved Don and Samara out on their own lot of land, to build a retirement house and live out their eternity happily visiting future Uglacies to come.

Don must have agreed with my decision. He immediatly goosed Samara before I could even get one motherlode in. Hey, I couldn't do Don in, I just couldn't. It cost me their urns, but some things are just more important than points. Yeah, I'm a softie... you caught me.

Their pictures hang proudly in the Uglacy's hallway... My ultimate sim couple. I miss em already, but not to worry Don fans, he'll be back to visit, and now the house won't crash. As soon as Don and Samara moved out, the legacy household was working again.

Emily Rose is a very happy sim... she's knowledge, and to me, knowledge sims are the easiest sims ever. Just skill em, skill em, skill em, and they are happy little campers. A think hat and a piano and she's good to go. Although she is a frightening sight to see.

Rhoda was all too happy to start private school.

"Yay, I get to meet normal people!"

Raised by a grilled-cheese eating zombie, a perverted grandpa, a vampire mother, and a fashionably-challenged father... nope, no issues there.

"So what's with the books over our heads, sis?"

"Well we are brillant, Rhoda. Uglacies have to be smarter than other sims... so we can lure them in. Make them think we are harmless, and distract their attention from our hideous features."

"Hello newspaper boy. Perharps later, we can partake of my first kiss, since it would boost my curiousity as a knowledge sim."

"My Lord, and I thought the other legacy households were bad. Must not show fear."

"Here son, here's a dollar for all those newspapers you've delivered to the Uglacies in the last seven generations. Now about my daughter..."

"A dollar is not going to cut it mister. Do I look cheap to you."

"Well actually... ok how about these coupons for a free meal, the Diva's phone number, and I'll throw in a gnome."

"Sweet."

"Holy smoley, I just saw a ghost... wow, how cool is that. I am like so platinum right now I could just max some skills. Gosh, I want to max creativity so bad. Let me play the piano some more... pleeease."

I love knowledge sims. There's just no down side. I have been playing romance sims way too long.

Goopy Gilsbaro!!! What are you doing?!

"So many women, so little time. I need some Mojo juice. I have simselves to woo."

Oh no... no... not more of Goopy.

So what does the future hold for the Uglacies Gypsy woman. Which simself will Goopy date next? Which sim becomes heir to the Uglacy Dynasty? Will my game continue to glitch and twitch with Don and Samara out of the house??? This story will already be a pain to upload with all these pictures, so I have a part two heading your way pronto. So stay tuned.