Don and Samara Uglacy, current head of the Uglacy family. Someone told me Samara looks like Steve Tyler, and now I just can't get that resemblance out of my head. I keep waiting for her to break into "Walk This Way". Still on my countdown to see how ugly a sim I can get in 10 generations, I'm too far in to review everything. So you might want to try the other 10 chapters first if you haven't read them. Or try to keep up, whatever works for you.

Lets start with our eldest couple. Samara and Don Uglacy. These two have a great relationship, but like all married couple, they have their differences. Samara is a bit peeved off at Don here, because he is cheating at chess... yet again. Chess is Don's biggest addiction next to grilled cheese.

"Don I saw that."

"What, my buttercup?"

"Pawns can not move 5 spaces."

"Oh, darling, I thought that was a Bishop, silly me."

Don basically spends most his time imparting the wisdom of grilled cheese on other sims, but unlike most grilled cheese sims, he is able to persuade other sims to take an interest in his hobby, maybe all those charisma points. Even without nice points, Don is the most well-liked Uglacy in the neighborhood, which is saying a lot about a family when the best sim you've got is a grilled-cheese eating zombie.

Regan, stop the demon-crap right now! Oh, she's up to no good with Don.

Regan is the daughter of Gage and Carmen Uglacy, and named for that head-spinning little girl on the exorcist. She rolled family, with a lifetime want to be a Professional Party Guest!!! Wait a second, that doesn't sound much like family to me! Hi, I love families, now where's the party?! Glitch??? I really don't know.

But it looks like Regan is going to be the spare.

To Queenie, my first alien Uglacy. She's way ahead in the votes. She rolled popularity by the way, silly me, forgetting to tell you last time. And oddly enough, wants to be a professional party guest as well.

Queenie is finally learning her probing skills, but uh, Queenie, I think that is a blue heart. You might want to put that back.

"OH my gosh, Code Blue, Code Blue!!!"

Uh, just a thought, but I don't think those chest compressions are gonna do much without a heart. You know, ripping out the guy's heart, well that kind of cinched it.

"He's dead."

Geesh really, imagine my shock. Ripping his heart out, squeezing his nostrils closed, and choking him with the other hand. Looks like you might make an Uglacy after all.

Carmen, meanwhile, is finding her inner self thru painting... uh pipes?

"No, this is termites tunneling through my lost soul."

Yeah, once an exterminator, always an exterminator.

"Girls you make me so happy when you eat your grilled cheese."

"Yes Grandpa Don."

Matching jammies, why I didn't do that. How cute.

Don, what are you doing? Thats the milk of me, from chapter 9, or 8, I'm forget.

"Here, here Cujo. Let Uncle Don bring you back to life. Doesn't matter if I suck this down, because I'm living forever anyways. And we want you to have the opportunity to screw this story up real good."

Yeah, well you don't need a cowplant for that. But if you insist, Don, you better take care of your new pet. Feed him... I mean it... everyday!

We'd hate to have something happen to our regular stalker, Don Miguel.

*cough, cough*

"Hey, hello Koko150, so thought you'd come by and visit us?"

"Well, no, actually I was headed for town and..."

"Of course you can't resist my grilled cheese, I understand. I am the master of the gooey delight. Come on in, I'll whip some up."

"But, uh... I got to... go trim my toenails."

Oh koko, you always have the cutest excuses.

"So koko, is that like hot cocoa, are you rich and chocolately good? Could you warm me up on a cold day? Can I melt my marshmallows in your..."

"The grilled cheese was great, really, but I got to get back to my computer. Legacies to write and all."

Run koko, run!!!

"Look dude, I don't want to be harsh, but you're not my type. I prefer... well a symetrical bone structure to start with. As Happy Bunny would say, you're icky."

"Look koko, I just saw my husband's want panel, and he's rolling wants to flirt with you."

"Carmen, I swear, you have nothing to worry about. Now MythMil, she's a different story."

Seriously, I was trying to keep this under control... but while I was checking on Queenie's skillin...

"You take that you homewrecker!"

"But I don't even want to talk to your husband, much less have an affair with him. Get off of me, ape woman!"

I've stated before, I can not be held responsible for CAS sims in the Uglacy household. This is a free-will environment.

But I feel bad about this, really I do!

Carmen Patch Uglacy, you apologize immediatly for attacking our guest.

This is the face Carmen gave when I told her to apologize.

Carmen, you apologize or I will cowplant you right now!!!

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry I attacked you koko. Please forgive my rude, animal ways."

"Yeah, right, Carmen. I'm outta of here, and you Uglacies can put that grilled cheese where the sun don't shine."

Koko doesn't particularly like my family, I can't understand why. Except for Don of course. Everyone likes Don.

"You want me to eat that burnt lobster thats been in the oven since the last chapter? It looks like bugs I use to kill."

Yeah, enjoy, Carmen. Grrrr. Meanest Uglacy to date.

What is a romance sim without his stereo of love...

Although I really wanted to see Gage get fried. Well, maybe next time.

It's 2 AM in the morning, do you know where your cowplant is?

"Did I have to get out of bed to feed Cujo?!"

Hey, you wanted a pet, Don. They come with responsibilities.

Ugh, creepy stalker man, you have to be desperate to have the hots for Carmen. And Hiddenunderabed, when are you going to stop trying to convince Carmen to leave Gage? Seriously, everytime Hidden comes over, (she and Carmen are best friends) she starts talking suitcases. Not that I blame her, I mean, Carmen doesn't have a good marriage.

"So I've been thinking Gage, well you're not so bad. Your somewhat attractive, you know, like a car wreck you just can't take your eyes off of. And it's just boring wandering past your house, so how about later we meet up at the Crypto bar, and do a little dancing."

What?!! Hurrikaty, what are you doing? Gads, Mil was bad enough. Not you too!!!

Koko150, how could you? Knocking over the Uglacies trash can. Look, I know Carmen got out of hand, but cut her some slack. She's married to Gage after all, that's punishment enough.

"I just have to get all these love letters delivered."

"What, you're kidding me mail lady. Love letters, for the Uglacies?"

"Yeah, it's sort of like mad cow disease. Scary, isn't it."

Hiddenunderabed, you had your chance. But if you want...

"Feed me to the cowplant first, have me fix the trash compactor, swim in a ladderless pool, I don't care. I am not dating Gage Uglacy. And just remember Candi, I have your simself in my game, yeah, it could get sticky for you."

Ok, enough said. But you know where to find me Hidden. (Shoo Flee Forum, where I am currently starting a Gage dating service).

MIL!!! Your pregnant!

"How observant. You know I've been wanting to have Gage's lovechild."

Warning: Simselves are now entering the soap opera zone.

Over at the El Presidente Palace, where simselves bask in the glory of motherlode, JFed is having a nervous breakdown, after catching the kitchen on fire yet again! JFed's simself should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen.

By the way, I've noticed she does this in other legacies too. Maybe this is just what SimHaven did to her.

Carmen Patch Uglacy remains oblivious to her husband's cheating ways...

You would think that his pregnant girlfriend in the middle of the livingroom would give it all away, but alas, no... And Mil thinks she is the queen of Gage's heart... but...

Who is that woman?

"Guys, can you get a room, like seriously, I'm trying to serve drinks here."

Why yes, it is HurriKaty out on a dream date with Gage, while ImaginingMystic is trying to avoid the temptation to smustle with the Goopster.

You know you want to, Imagining... All that plaid under a strobe light, who could resist?

And as if all this isn't bad enough, Gage meets Mil downtown at the Knotty Pines Hotel, being stalked by that wierdo guy that follows all my sims around town and stresses out constantly. But wait, maybe he has a reason to stress...

"Gage Uglacy, you cheating, two-timing sim!"

Mitenkitten!!! When did you ever develop feelings for Gage Uglacy??? Seriously? Well apparently she did, and is none too happy about his romance with Mil.

It seems no one can resist the charm of Gage Uglacy, romance sim extradonaire. James Bond of the sim world... oh who am I kidding. Really, sims aren't choosy at all, are they?!

"Buuurrp..."

Cujo!!! Don, you did not feed the cowplant, grrr. What unsuspecting sim took the cake this time?

Why Meadow Thayer, even in death you continue to tease sim boys everywhere by haunting the hot tub of love. Why am I not shocked?

Boohoo, my cowplant ate Meadow. Let's observe a moment of silence for the little town tramp... ok, moment over.

"That Mil, thinking she's all that, and going after my man..."

Oh dear, nasty little love triangle going on here. Mitinkitten, there's plenty of Gage to go around for everyone, tho why anyone would want him is beyond me.

"Gage, talk to the hand. I feel you are not being entirely honest with me. I know about Katy, and about Mitinkitten, and then there is the matter of your wife."

"I swear, my little pet, you're the only one I look for when I scope a room. I have two lightning bolts for you!"

My legacy family can't even do the lobster thermidor thing right even with all the cooking points.

*sigh*

Ok guys, back to grilled cheese for you.

The only exception to my family... Queenie. Nice, polite, and extremely bright. She has 8 points in everything!!! And she learns quick. Must be those alien genes, because it sure isn't Uglacy breeding.

This townie has Gage's number, he's thinking love, she's thinking cheating louse. You stick with that first impression, honey.

Speaking of love, Queenie has her first crush on Ricky Cormier. Shy, sweet, gads I am so unuse to this behavoir.

"So Queenie, want to play alien invasion with me."

"Oh Ricky, hee, hee, you're so cute. Maybe you can let me probe you later and do experiments on your internal organs."

"Gosh, gee, Queenie, that's sounds like so much fun, can we?!"

I'm more use to the groping, outgoing ways of the Uglacies.

Hey Randy, watch that hand! By the way, I accidently called him Orlando last chapter, which a witty reader pointed out. Geesh, townies, tough to keep em all straight. But I stand corrected. Regan is going steady with Randy London.

And visions of grilled cheese danced through his head...

The simple life of a grilled cheese sim. Still no where near 200 grilled cheese. Good thing Don is a zombie and my time is unlimited. Cheating, nah! Zombies are totally legal in a legacy... and that's one way to meet impossible wants.

HurryKaty, why do you look so evil and lurk at the Uglacy doorway?

Oh Katy, that is just so immature. Really! I saw that. I know it was you. Walking away all innocently and sweet. And here I thought you were a nice sim.

"Oh Don, love of my life, let's dance the night away..."

I knew what was comming, and Samara's last wish was to dance with Don.

The grim reaper just had to break it up...Way to go grimster. Don was just getting ready to lower his hands.

This was the hardest death ever, because Samara and Don have been my favorite couple ever. A couple I never planned, that happened on free will, and I just went with it. It was breaking my heart to lose Samara.

And apparently, I wasn't the only one taking this hard, the whole Uglacy family turned out in tears. Sure, they're mean, but they are a tight little clan of misfits. Carmen adored Samara, they were best friends before she ever dated Gage. Gage, well actually Samara didn't like her own son that much, but hey, it's decent of him to cry.

Reagan looked at a total loss. I was fearing total aspiration failure in the Uglacy family.

And Queenie fell apart between the swaying coconuts. Even the theatrical show of the Hula girls didn't ease the pain.

So long Samara Uglacy... I really will miss you.

"Hey everyone, lighten up, I got a pina colada out of it. Life's been good. I made it to 82, and I spent my life with the one I loved. Maybe I can come back as a Hula girl."

Now that's a scary thought.

"Waaaa, not Samara, not the love of my life!!!"

What's this... Don is rolling wants to resurrect Samara. Hello, Don, you're a grilled cheese sim! I didn't even know you could do that! You are officially my favorite sim now. Really, he rolled it, I can't believe it! He'd rather bring his wife back then serve grilled cheese. Now that's love.

Meanwhile, back at Mil's home, she and Hurrikaty are having it out over Gage.

"He's my boyfriend, Katy, you back off!"

"Never, Gage loves me!"

It results in diary wars...

"That Mil is a cheap tramp... she got pregnant with Gage's baby to steal him from me."

"Katy threw herself at Gage, everyone knows it. Pretending to be Carmen's friend so she could get to Gage!"

"Sleeze"

"Harlot."

"Hussy!"

"Tart!"

Meet little Rachel Uglacy... well she's not technically an Uglacy since she was born in, um sin and all.

"She's our love child."

Sure, you remember that Mil when that kid hits toddlerhood, because Uglacies have a face only a mother could love.

"Hmmm, what an odd plant my parents keep growing. I wonder why it increases a sim's creativity? I shall research it throughly."

"Would you tell Don to can it, he's been crying at the table all night!"

He misses his wife, Gage, geesh! Even the grilled cheese can not ease Don's emptiness and pain.

"I'm an alien.Grrrr. Fear for your life!"

"That's good Queenie, but this time I want to hear more growling, and show those teeth. Oh yeah, and if you can breath like Darth Vader, that adds a nice touch."

We're going to get Queenie over being nice yet!

"Mil."

"Carmen."

*crickets chirping* note Don busily avoiding the whole situation on the piano.

"Why are you sitting on my couch watching TV like you belong here?"

"Oh, the door was open. I just thought I'd wander in."

This will not end well.

"I don't understand why I have to fix all the appliances. Carmen has more mechanic points then me."

"Dad, do you really think you should be sticking that screwdriver in there, and shouldn't you unplug the thing first?"

I try over and over again to have Gage get shocked, purely for my own entertainment but alas, he is just plain lucky.

"Eww, lala, Candi you are hot!"

Ewww, lala, Gage you're NOT. I'm seriously considering what Neonhorn did when she downloaded Orlando Bloom, and I'm going to download myself a fantasy man. I'm thinking Russell Crowe, but I haven't found a good one yet. Yeah, I know he's a bad boy, what can I say?

It the big day for Gage... transitioning into Depends and senoir citizen discounts. How bad will the damage be? Well I thought Gage could get no worse...

I was WRONG. Very, very wrong. I have never, ever seen an uglier elder. What's up with his nose, did it just lose all it's cartilage and explode internally?

Next in line for AARP, Carmen Patch Uglacy.

Carmen actually fares better, but unfortunately her birthday was doomed. Carmen was about to find out the truth about her jerk of a husband.

Don, I think we have a situation brewing...Hey that's not grilled cheese!

"Gobble, gobble, gulp, nope, chinese!"

What about this situation, all these girlfriends, a wife, can't be good.

"Your problem. Now where's the eggrolls?!"

For two of Gage's girlfriends were at the party, and once in the kitchen with Mil, Gage couldn't keep his hands off her. Hurrikaty, how can you even think about that creep when he's pawing another woman only 5 feet away?

"I can't help it, there's just something about him!"

"Gage!!! What are you doing?!"

Poor Carmen, comming in for a second helping of cake and she gets an eyefull of this.

"You no account, cheating pig! How could you?!!!"

"And you , you CAS trash, you're going down!"

"Let go of me ape woman! He loves me, not you! He was just forced to marry you for ugly kids!"

"Take that!"

Ow, right in the eye! That's gotta smart!

Mil!!! Behind you!

Gads, this is like one of those wrestling matches where they pummel each other to the floor. Carmen is about to body-slam Mil!

"Ha, ha, ha, teach you to run around with my husband you Nina Caliente!"

Poor Mil, but really Mil, what did you expect? Messing around with Gage in the kitchen at Carmen's birthday party?

"He should be mine... sob, sob... I had his love baby."

How about I download you a nice celebrity sim, eh Mil? Johnny Dep, Heath Ledger, Tom Cruise, whatever you want.

"Russell Crowe?"

Back off Mil, he's mine!!!

"Oh great, are you another one of Gage's girlfriends?!"

"Well I was, now I'm just the one who has been kicking your garbage can over day and night. Spurn my love will you!"

Mitenkitten, I'm still not sure how you and Gage even got involved. Did he flirt with you when I had my back turned? It was the hot tub, wasn't it?

"That's it, Regan and I can't take it anymore, we're off to college."

Loaded up on scholarship and enough emotional scarring for at least ten years of therapy, Regan and Queenie head off to Academie Le Tour, or whatever. They have a goal to set up a sorority by their Junoir year.

"So here we are sis, at the end of the chapter, just arrived at our dorms."

"Well Queenie, college chapters are so boring. No one will tune in for that."

Oh but I beg to differ. College was where Don, the grilled-cheese zombie was born, and was one of my most interesting chapters yet, so I'm looking forward to this. But until next time, happy simming and thanks to my fellow legacy writers at Shoo Flee and Boolpropfighttheaddiction False forums. And thanks to all the simselfs that made an appearance!