Oh my, PSG doing the smustle!!! LOL. In case you do not know this famous sim, she belongs to Katnick. And I felt she would make a perfect storyholder for the Uglacy family. So this story is comming to you from PSG's trashy, tiny trailer. PSG is in such a happy mood, because I made her a romance sim and she just got some woohoo... with...

River Waters! (From the Waters legacy by Swiffner). Hey, he's got no nose, she's got a humogous one, I thought would their kid be normal? As you all know, I love to experiment. And these two really, really do have the hots for one another. See, there's somebody for everybody. So at the end of this chapter, we'll see what this union produces. In the meantime...

Ok, so where were we, ah yes. The 6th generation of Uglacy. Possible Heir #1, daughter of Gage Uglacy and Carmen Patch, who thinks she has magical powers and can wiggle her nose like Tabatha on Bewitched. Anyway, this is Regan, named from the little girl on the Exocist. She's mean, she's ugly, and she's a typical Uglacy freak.

Poor kid looks like she's doing a sobriety test.

And here is Queenie, named after the alien queen on Alien 2...or 3, not sure on that one. I would tell you that Queenie is plotting the diabolical take over of the world here, but frankly, she's too nice! Where'd that came from, I have no idea, but she's more like E.T. than a flesh-eating alien. *sigh* That's disappointing. However, she is the daughter of Gage and Pollination Tech #9. She offers a different route for the Uglacies. One of these two will be our heir.

"Tell me, who are you again?"

"I'm your daughter!"

"Oh, the incident of that horrible alien abduction."

"NO! I'm your daughter with Carmen, your wife."

"I have a wife?!"

Gage is definitly not a family sim. He owns up to romance as well as Don Lothario ever did.

Poor little Queenie is a bit of a perfectionist. Her burnt muffin has her on the verge of tears. That's nothing, kiddo, wait till you catch the house on fire.

Carmen's newest want now that she's a mad scientist is to max all her skills, totally doable as she's only a few away.

"Hey, look at this rocket I found up the dummy's bumhole... I think Gage isn't quite over the abduction thing."

Well, I'm sure it was traumatic, even for Gage.

So these two sisters are skillin machines, and if their aspiration rolled true, they would be knowledge. Look at them battle for skill points! Which means only one thing...

Junoir Jeapordy!!! "I'll take ugly sims for 1000, Alex."
Just kidding. It actually means...

"Yes, my children are brillant!!! Brillant I say, IQ's so high they'd pan off your test. You have to come right away and evaluate them for private school."

Oh great, the whole headmaster thing. No one else cared if those kids got in but you Carmen. You just had to actually give a toot about the kids... pfft.

"Oh man, this is a legacy family isn't it?! Maybe I can get back in the car, but that ugly broad is already waiting for me. Sheesh, she probably seen me."

Yup, no way out now Korey. Welcome to the Uglacy Family.

"Uglacy, oh crud, that's even worse. That's the bottom of the barrel for legacy families."

"Oh my gosh! Your piano playing zombie is brillant!"

You think that's amazing, you should see him make grilled cheese or cheat at chess.

"Grff, gump, gobble, gobble, man this is so good, it's not grilled cheese, its not grilled cheese!!!"

"Don, knock it off, we have the headmaster here!"

"It's ok, Mrs. Uglacy. My grandmother had the grilled cheese aspiration. Terrible affliction. We tried to cure her, but the withdrawals from the power of cheese... horrible."

"Well actually, you people did quite well. Didn't even have to schmooze me I was so impressed."

Yeah, great, now get out! And don't call us, we'll call you. Thank goodness the Uglacies didn't have to schmooze. They never do well at that. Being mean and all.

Yeah, Gage, it's Regan's birthday. Don't get excited or anything. It's not like she's your kid, your firstborn, your life blood.

"And I would like to thank the academy of legacy families, for making this moment possible, and Headmaster Korey for sensing my amazing abilities, and my mother Carmen, who actually fed me growing up."

Ah, blow out the candles already!

The sprinkling of confetti may now commence.

Whoa, even I was taken back here...

Definitly your mother's child, and then some.

So I take Regan off to give her a new look, if possible.

"I don't like this! I look like Dorothy on the Wizard of Oz!"

You mean Toto, the dog, right? Ok, ok, we'll try something else.

"OMG, this is horrible! I can't be seen like this!"

I think it's kind of cute.

"No, no, no! What will all my friends say?!"

Ugh, teenagers!!!

"Now that's more like it."

Glad you finally approve of something. Ok, on with the show!

"So Grandparental unit Don, I would like to research your cheese theories."

"My darling grandaughter, I heart you, sniff, sniff. Forget the muffins, kid, I'll show you how to make a mean grilled cheese."

Don the Zombie loves the kids, and he's their favorite as well. I never thought Zombies were good at family stuff. Or maybe it's just that the Uglacies are such bad parents, the zombie is the best role model the kids have... scary thought, isn't it?

Gage, meanwhile, remains oblivous to any of his family. He just has loving on his sick mind.

Here JFizzle spies him on a date, and seems just as clueless as me as to why any sim female would be attracted to Gage.

"Yooou suuuuckkk Gaaaage Uglacy... Bahhahaha."

Tell him Komeii. Scare him to death, you'd be doing us all a favor. Except the the grimster and the hula girls. An eternity with Gage Uglacy trying to look up your grass skirt... *cringing*

"Yes!!! An A+, I am a superior being!"

"I shall show my parental units immediatly!"

Oh, poor Queenie, do you really think any of the Uglacies care? Really??? But you hold on to that childhood dream.

Eee gads... it looks like Regan might be living up to her "Exorcist" name.

The power of Christ compels me... The power of Christ compels me...
*crosses self*

Carmen, you have full creativity and this is what you paint?!

"It's abstract."

Its crap...hello!

"You perverts!!! I'm tired of you and that creepy, Frankenstein husband of yours peeking in my windows!"

"Lady, you got a lot of nerve comming into this house."

And man, I mean to tell ya, the Uglacies aren't like most sims... when other sims poke them, they don't cry...

They just glare... like this... frightening isn't it?

That lady went a packing... and Carmen went right back to painting without so much as a teardrop. Mean, I tell you, pure mean.

Like mother, like daughter... Regan loves the punching bag.

And there is constantly non-stop action. What Carmen and Don are fighting about, I have no idea. I just tuned in myself.

A household of mean sims is not the recipe for domestic bliss.

Sophie Miguel, you think you're so bad, don't cha? Always bullying all the other teens, well I'd get right back on that bus if I were you. This ain't no kind-loving, pretty, well-bred legacy. You throw a water balloon here, and well, I'm not responsible...mmkay.

Meanwhile, Gage has fallen madly for another simself...MythMil. She writes the DeCendant legacy, an excellent read by the way. Oh he's got it bad this time, 2 lightning bolts and thinking she's hot when he scopes a room. (He has a thing for blondes).

"Hey baby, you're looking fine!"

"Oh my God, what's he doing?!"

Why he's bustin a move for you Mil. Impressive, no?

"Man, she's all that! Look, she even likes my dancing."

Well, she does look amused at least.

"Well I like him, he's sort of cute."

What?! Mil, maybe you need to get those glasses checked. It might be time for a new prescription.

And look at him, isn't he the proud rooster? I mean seriously, he's posturing like there's no tommorrow.

"So Mil, I heard you meant Gage last night. What did you think? Pretty hard to look at isn't he?"

"Well Candi, I have a confession to make. I think Gage is hot."

(Note, my simself just got off work, I'm a real nurse ok, but in real life we don't wear mechanic outfits, ok? Just wanted to explain that ugly attire.)

"In fact, Candi, I was wondering if you could set me and Gage up. You know, I wouldn't mind a little romantic interaction, if you know what I mean."

"Oh no, Mil, you're kidding, right? I mean I feel nauseated at the idea of that... gads, I've never felt this sick before. My stomach is churning."

"Oh crap, I've got sim flu. Why every time I take my sim self out does something bad happen to me. I'm literally sick, this sucks."

"So what about the date with Gage, Candi, can you arrange it?"

"Sure, sure, Mil, now I got to get home and get some serious rest because I can't die twice in my own legacy. That would really be pathetic."

"Here's to our first date together, Mil, may it be one of many."

Well if it is, this is the only one I'm taking pictures of, because frankly, Gage dating simselfs is just disturbing on so many levels.

What?!! Gage is talking about kids?! Oh he must really be in love. Hello, Gage, you're romance, not family!

"Oh Gage, I don't care what anyone says. You own my sim heart!"

Ok, I should make something perfectly clear here. Mil did ask to be hooked up with Gage, we all tried to convince her at Shoo Flee that Gage was ugly, but she was hearing none of it. So hey, if they have the lightning bolts, who are we to judge? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... but seriously Mil, check out the next picture...

Tell me he's not hideous. I just don't see the attraction. But if you do you can hook up with Gage by calling 1-800-HOT-GAGE... 99cents for the first minute and $4.99 for every minute thereafter.

Meanwhile Carmen and Don are mending their relationship. They love to play chess. But Carmen is no match for Don's quick moves.

"Oh my gosh, Carmen, look at that. A Brown Recluse spider, in our own home!"

"What??? Where, I don't see a spider."

Of course an ex-exterminator couldn't resist a line like that.

Don cheats... always. He a cheating grilled-cheese Zombie machine. They should make a country western song about him.

"So when I was your age, I had an interest, I made a video that killed people. Well, it was more like a hobby actually. You need to get rid of those nice points, Queenie, you'll never have any fun that way. We expect Uglacy children to be hateful and mean. Maybe you should start probing things, I hear aliens are good at that."

"Oh grandparent unit, you mean experimenting so I can find cures for deadly diseases, and better the lives of mankind?"

"Oh dear, we have a lot of work to do with you."

"Ok so grandma wanted me to teach you how to probe. First you start with a scapel."

"Oh no, this seems unreasonably cruel and inhumane. What a barbaric procedure!" Note Queenie's horrified expression. For an alien, she doesn't seem to like probing.

"Oh my gosh, Queenie. It's mom's old bug spray! What's that doing in the dummy?!"

Maybe Carmen's hiding it so she can add it to Gage's grilled cheese one day.

Regan finds a love interest in Orlando Centrowski. He's a seedy looking kid to me, and I'm guessing romance since he came on to her first. Desperate for love he's chasing Uglacy girls. But then again, he ain't no prize either.

I'm looking at this picture and I'm thinking, doesn't Don the Zombie look an awful lot like Tom Hanks? Or is it just me?

"My mother always said life was like a box of chocolates..."

Or in his case a plate of grilled cheese.

"Frammit, crapping piece of junk tub!!!"

Gage carries on the Uglacy tradition of poor mechanic skills combined with a lack of patience and intelligence. This family is a joy to watch if you're an Al Bundy kind of person.

I finally got whatever the heck plant that is. It looks oddly suspicious, perharps illegal. *cough, cough* Maxis, you have some explaining to do.

Gage becomes a hall of famer, therefore sealing his platinum status forever. Guess I don't have to worry about all those creepy wants of yours now, Gage.

"But I still need some aspirations in life."

Here's an idea, roll a want for your wife once in a while, you jerk.

"So Orlando, you've heard of legacy families, haven't you?"

"Well yeah, but I heard they are kind of wierd."

"Oh don't be silly. We're not wierd at all. By the way, how do you feel about having an ugly baby with me. The uglier, the better."

"Today is my date of my evolution into the Pre-adult metamorphises. I will hence be what is known as a teenager, my hormonal levels will rise like an uncontrolled tide, and I will bask in the glory of thinking I am all knowing. My parental units will appear to me as foolish, outdated models."

Yes, and really they are. So blow them candles out and lets see what the future holds.

"I'm a green teenage queen! I suddenly feel an obsession to purchase infinite amounts of shoes and talk countless hours on the telephone."

Hello one of the ugliest aliens ever. Those eyes are really, really big. She looks even more like some sort of insect life form. Better watch out for Carmen and that bug spray, kid.

Happy, happy, Joy, Joy!!! As Ren and Stimpy would say. But why is the oven smoking in the background?

"What idiot dared to cook in my kitchen?!"

I don't know Don, but someone snuck something into the oven! Probably lobster!

"Well that's just great, ruin my aspirations on my granddaughters birthday."

Nothing hurts a grilled cheese zombie more than a careless kitchen fire. If I catch the sim responsible... grrrrr!

"Hmmm, I don't know who could have started that fire. I wasn't in the kitchen, I swear it. No way I would have tried to cook anything with my 2 cooking points."

No, of course not Regan. *rolls eyes*

"I'm sorry folks, but I got to break up this story. Why with the page limits and all. Everyone needs to go home now, nothing to see, nothing to see."

But wait!!! Are you wondering how the River Waters and PSG baby turned out?! Well, I think I can add one more picture >>>

That theory I had on No nose + a big nose = a normal nose. Um, yeah, well that was WRONG. Meet Dark Waters (like the horror movie!) River's daughter. Unfortunatly, River's alien genetics didn't help her.

And so that is where I really will end. Thanks to all my fellow legacy writers at Boolpropfighttheaddiction False and Shoo Flee for their support and their simself appearances. And for all the simmers out there who make great custom content I use in my stories. Till next time, happy simming! And if you want to give me your two cents on who should be heir, Regan or Queenie, feel free to sign my GB.