Welcome Boys and Girls... To a legacy family like no other. Because my goal is not to earn points, tho I will follow legacy rules, nor to see how much money I can earn, or how many careers I can top... muhahaha... no I want to see how ugly a sim I can create in 10 generations. Are you with me? Cause let's face it folks, hottie sims are just not as funny as the element of surprise. This is Sandy Bruty, and she remains mysterious, because no one plays her... no one until now.

Meet Jimmy Uglacy. After my last legacy family crashed and burned in the fires of glitches, I reloaded my game and decided to play a legacy family like never before. You see, while most simmers strive to produce hotties out of ugly NPC spouses... I have decided that I shall dance to the tune of a different drum. I am going to try to make the ugliest sim in ten generations that I can. Yeah, you heard right... the ugliest. I started with a normal looking sim, because I like a challenge.

LOVE COLUMN... Pleasure sim seeks future mate who enjoys dream dates (about 50 to be exact), living outdoors and bonding with nature. Must be townie, skill points and money is preferable, and be compatible with Aries.

Nice column Jimmy, did you also mention she has to be dog-butt ugly?
"What???!"
Never mind, Jimmy, never mind. Let's move along...

Off to an Xtreme start, I start on a 4X4 lot because I don't like the glitchy bigger lots. Don't worry, I followed Pinstar's rules and family funded Jimmy only 1500 simoleans. We have the bare necessarities, well actually we're missing a few. Shower to be exact.

First order of business... so Jimmy joins up with the proud and the few... military, ok. Doesn't matter, he just wants his dream dates.

And so we go down to the Legacy Mall, where Jimmy poses for potential spouses with his nifty poolstick

We find Zoe Rameon, she's no hottie, look at that mouth, but she isn't ugly enough. (Man, I never thought I'd say that about a Maxis NPC). Besides, we want a townie, and money at this point.

When we get home, the neighbor girls come, geesh and its the good looking ones I can never get before. It's Marisa and Brandi. Pffft.

"Hey Marisa is kind of hot."

Yeah Jimmy, well she's not for you, ok. Just friend material.

Jimmy heads downtown to the spa, mainly to shower. But we are now officially on the babe lookout or actually dog patrol. Too old, Jimmy, too old. We need heirs later.

I was beginning to feel like all the ugly sims were at a fugly convention when who should grace our lot but no other than Sandy Bruty. AKA fishlips.

"Jimmy go introduce yourself."
"But, but she's really ugly."
"Exactly. Now admire her."
Note how shocked Sandy looks from Jimmy's admiration. She's probably never had a compliment in her pathetic sim life.
"Sandy, you are so, well Angelina Jolie with even more collagen and a really bad haircut."

Why who could this be? It's Sandy, and she asked you out first. What a gal.

"Do I have to?"

Oh Shut up, you're a pleasure sim, you live to date.

"But I stink. My hygiene is rock bottom!"

Just primp a little, it'll be fine. I mean it's not like Sandy could be too picky.

"So anyway, I can't understand why I never get played in any of the Legacy families. I mean what is it? Why don't simmers like me, Jimmy?"

"Gee Sandy, I don't know. Sim players are so superficial."

"Jimmy, why do you keep staring on my lips?

"They mesmerizing." (Good comeback, Jimmy boy. Not a lie... exactly).

"So I hear you're dating Sandy. She's a nice girl."

"Yeah, it's just a shame that train ran into her face."

Lay off Crumplebottom, a sim needs to get their hygiene up someway. Geesh, it's not like he's naked! Say Crumplebottom, are you up for a date... uh no, I didn't think so.

Hey Jimmy, that guy's trying to go for Sandy. I think he's half blind with the glasses he wears, but we can't have that. Stab him with a dart in the back.

"So Jimmy this is the 3rd terrific dream date I've had with you, but I have to wonder where this is going?"

"Well, I was just wondering Sandy, how would you like to be part of a legacy family."

"Really, seriously, oh my gosh, I thought this day would never come!" Yeah, I bet a lot of simmers thought that. I know nothing about Sandy, because no one ever plays her.

OMG, you will not believe what aspiration Sandy is. I now officially think Maxis is crazy! She's ROMANCE!!! Are they serious? And no sooner than I married them then they both jumped in bed to relax, without help from me. But I can get a hint. Go ahead Jimmy, get it on with that "lovely" bride.

"Hey Sandy, I got an idea. Ever have paper bag whoohoo? You put a bag over your head and..."

What?! Death after Sex! Geesh Reaper, way to spoil the honeymoon! Did the shock of Sandy's first whoohoo (probably anywhere in the sim world) kill her? I don't know.

"Please take her, please..."

Uh hum... Jimmy!

"I mean, don't take her, don't take her."

"Snatch the pebble from my hand, grasshopper."

"Gee, that was close Jimmy. Thanks for saving me."

"Yeah, well, try not to die everytime we woohoo, ok?"

And with Sandy's big bucks the Uglacies officially become trailer trash. One day maybe they can advance to a double wide.

Meet Sandy... the profile no one knew and no one wanted to. She's a romance Taurus with a want to have 20 lovers (*snickers, nice one Maxis). Her turn ons are vampires and fitness, tho the thought of her as a vampire, eek. Her turn off brown hair. (But yet they have 2 lightning bolts, go figure). She's very playful, and otherwise pretty evened out. She has a few skill pts here and there, and is a team mascot. Good idea to have a job that requires a mask! She comes into the marriage with 18,000 simoleans.

Seriously, can this possibly get any worse?

OOps, guess it can Sandy!

"So like everyone is wondering why you married Sandy Bruty?"

"A voice told me to."

"Seriously, dude, they have medication for that."

Eee gads, pregnant disco mamma. I think that could hurt the baby... or at least turn the kid into a pretzel.

"Hey Amin, Jimmy's at work. How about comming over and giving me some loving."

Sims really aren't too choosy, are they?

Welcome to the world... Norman Uglacy. Now I know lots of people have different methods of naming Legacy kids, alphabetical, people in their family, etc... Well I am naming these sims after the enemies and people in my life I didn't much like. Norman is named after a jerk I worked with that thought he knew everything. Hee, hee, hee this feels kind of therapeutic.

So what to do with a pleasure sim and a romance sim, hmmmm. Whatever could their aspirations ALWAYS be? This marriage is so doomed. A pleasure sim who wants 50 dates and a romance sim who wants 20 loves. *bangs head against desk* Seriously tho, it's pretty easy to keep them happy on a day to day basis. But I am really sick of the whoohoo option right now.

"I love my little wifey so much, but please don't let this poor kid end up looking like her."

Hmmm, do I spy Sandy's lips!

"He has my eyes tho!"

"Sure, Jimmy, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"So um Sandy, how about we run away together? I know you look like the back end of a baboon, but the whoohoo is great."

"Sorry Amin, you're just a notch in my romance belt. Besides Jimmy gives me a dream date everynight and whoohoo in the car. What more can a romance sim want?"

"Sandy, have I ever told you how the moonlight reflects off of those enormous lips, and I love the blush in those monkey cheeks of yours..."

"Oh can it, Jimmy. All I want to do is whoohoo in the car."

"Of course, my little fishy lips. Anything for a dream date."

Time for a birthday kiddo. Let's assess the damage, shall we?

Whoa... Sandy's lips for sure. I wonder if they get bigger and bigger as he ages. And he's got the monkey cheeks and startled eyebrow look... excellent my little pig man. Carry on.
"Hey can I have a puppy for my birthday?"

"Sure kid, but first we need to tie a porkchop around your neck, mmkay."

"Hey Sandy, I was wondering why you called me over?"

"Shaddup and give me some loving bowler boy!"

And next she invites over Parker... dun dun dun... and another one bites the dust!

"I just got home from work, and say, I was wondering. Who are you and why are you in our kitchen in your underwear?"

"Well buddy, while you were out punching the clock, I was punching other things, if you know what I mean. That wife of yours ain't too pretty in the face, but she's a love goddess."

"Like Venus?'

"Uh, more like Medusa. But whatever rocks your boat."

"Um Parker, I think you should go now, you've been here almost 2 days, and it's kind of creeping my husband out."

"Sure, Sandy, but when can we see each other again?"

"How does never work for you. Bye, bye now."

Somehow I don't think that's a good idea Jimmy. Sort of like having the radio next to the tub... yeah, just doesn't feel right.

Why what is this on the floor. Oddly enough, Sandy seems to like having children, a rarity for a romance sim. But hey, if I don't have to fight the aspiration drops, that's fine with me. I got enough problems trying to keep her lovers from her dream dating husband...geesh.

Eeek, That face would scare any baby. But welcome to the Uglacy family, and keeping in the naming ritual of thine enemies, I shall call you Dreama... after the little girl who in second grade use to beat me up for my twinkies at lunch. Dreama, if you're out there... this sims for you.

Love Potion #4. Only 16 left to go... this is going to be a long legacy.

Uh, ok, guys, Sandy is sleeping, and this is just too creepy for words. They all came in and stood over her like some bad horror movie. She's quite the popular gal, Sandy. Now go away you pesky townies before I boolprop you into oblivion.

"We must obey Sandy. Sandy is our queen." Eerie, just downright twilight zone stuff.

"Whose mommie's ugly fugly baby... who is?"

Just Don't drop that kid into the big gaping hole you call a mouth Sandy.

"Ohh baby, did I ever tell you smelly baby diapers make me hot!"

"Kiss me you fool."

Scary, isn't it.

Yeah, figures. And while mom and dad are selfishly thinking of only their aspirations...

poor Norman is eating yet another Easy Bake muffin.

And Dreama is on dirty diaper alert. Hello mom and dad, do we really want a visit from the social worker!

Deal with it Sandy.

"Where were you and dad, mom, I'm tired of eating muffins and hearing the baby screaming."

"Daddy and I needed a little platinum booster. You'll understand when you're older."

"But mom, you boost your platinum with everyone." SSSSh... your dad doesn't know that kid, and we don't want anything interfering with his dream dates, ok.

Jiffy POP... it's a toddler...

Glad to see you are putting your mark on this family, Sandy. What a precious little malformed chipmunk we have here.

Who reads fairy tales about toilets? I mean really, that's just wrong. I know the kid's beauty-challenged here, but wouldn't the "Ugly Duckling" be a more appropriate story.

Run, Norman, run...

(I just loved that Forest Gump line).

"Weeee daddy, look at me, I'm an eagle."

More like a vulture kid, but whatever.

Actually, she's kind of cute with a little help from me. But we all know they're kind of cute when they are babies, and than they transform, and all our dreams are crushed. Besides, look at those lips. They'll only get bigger you know, wait and see.

Icky, I have no words for this except this girl must be really hard up for loving. Because the only way I would want Bruty lips on me would be well never... gross, banish the thought, move on.

But don't feel too bad for Jimmy, as if you did. He's down in Legacyville, at the local coffee shop trying to rack up another dream date. Gads, a pleasure and a romance sim at the same time, what was I thinking?! I'll tell you what I was thinking... that Sandy Bruty was some poor family sim, I mean really... romance?! I'm still not over it.

"Whoa, and I thought my wife was ugly." (Note Jimmy's face, hee hee)

Make friends, Jimmy, we might need Komeii for later. He's up there on the old fugly meter with that jawline from planet of the apes.

"Oh my gosh Jimmy, Norman is exploding."

"No, no dear, he is just growing up."

Hmmm, I see a resemblence. I think you have your mother's mouth, Jimmy.

"Yeah, I'm so cute, look at me. Don't I look great!"

Ah, yeah, sure. (At least sims don't know they're ugly, so let's not rain on his birthday, ok) He rolls fortune with a lifetime want to become chief of staff, which is so doable but boring. Yay.

Meanwhile, we have another birthday moments later. Lets assess the damage, shall we?

Hmmm, maybe it's some of the help I gave this girl earlier, but uh, she's sort of pretty. Which doesn't fare well for her to be heir, because my rule is the ugliest child gets to be heir. I just love being opposite of everyone else. We'll see when she gets to be a teen. I mean she has Sandy's lips, but her facial features are kind of nice.

Norman, on the other hand, has a lopsided mouth, which I just love. Did you ever think a sim player anywhere would say that? I mean it should have drool comming out the side of it. My heart pitters patters with joy at the sight of him. And I think his eyebrows are lopsided too, which adds a nice touch. I'm surprised he doesn't spit on the camera.

I set Norman to watching the cooking channel, which he doesn't seem to like very much. "Hey Norman, you wanted to be a chief of staff, you'll need skill points. And suck that lip in ok, someone might mistake it for a bookshelf or a runway... or something."

"Hey I'm getting real tired of the ugly kid comments, ok! They are not ugly. They are aesthically challenged!"

Calm down, Jimmy, don't get your undies in a twist. They're "special", ok?

"Ok Sandy, we need to start scoping a wife for that 'special' son of yours. Got any friends? Better yet sisters?"

"Uh, no. All my friends are my lovers now and if I bring them over with Jimmy home, all hell will break loose."

"Yeah, good point. So lets order pizza and see what we get."

"If the pizza girl is cute, can I have her?"

"Sure, Sandy, whatever."

"Ooola la. The pizza boy is hot!"

"Fine Sandy, flirt with him, you know you want to." Where the heck are the ugly NPC's when I need them!

"Hey Pizza boy, how about you and I get hot and gooey together?"

Run Pizza boy, run for your life.

"Gee mom, can I marry her, she's kind of cute."

"No Norman, she's your sister. How many times do I have to tell you that."

On a side note, isn't my house lovely? Really, I know you want to write in my guestbook about my interior decorating genius. But it just seemed to fit Sandy with her flaming jeans.

"Geesh, your kind of normal looking."

"Uh, thanks, I think."

"Say, do you have any ugly delivery girls you could send over to meet my son?"

Ever wonder what Sandy Bruty would look like with a makeover? Well, I have. So here she is, the best I could make her, and I thought, Sandy, you've been a good sport. Let's take you to the mall and get you some new clothes.

So it's downtown to the Legacy mall, where Sandy decides to try on clothes, and Jimmy apparently decides to try on her.

Whoa, a dream date for a romance sim, and look at those abs of steel. It's all that obstacle work and Sandy is now a MVP.

"You skank, how dare you go out with your husband on a date!"

Amin's got control issues, obviously. Worse, he's Jimmy's best friend so he's got a lot of nerve. Pfft, sims.

Dare I say it, but is Sandy looking hot?! Imagine what we could do girlfriend if we had a plastic surgeon in the house, but alas, we must wait for a rug rat to go to college for that one.

I buy Sandy a fish tank and uh, I have never seen this before. She likes to chase the fish around like she is some kind of snapping crab with her hands. It's scary. Back away from the fish tank, Sandy. Do we need to call the sim shrink?

Jimmy is closing in on elderhood, and the fifty date thing, hmmph, never gonna happen. Some goals are just too much trouble. Still, I have to plat him up, so here he is, typical pleasure sim.

Hey, wait a minute, that's not your wife!

"Yeah, well, I needed some variety, and Sandy and I have an open marriage, ok?"

Well apparently your other girlfriend doesn't like it either. I guess you didn't get "lost" in the hedges enough. Crimity, what a sham of a marriage these two have. He wants to date, date, date, and Sandy is whoohooing everyone in town. I'm on borrowed time here before one catches the other. Never, ever have I had a legacy mess like this.

"Geesh, it's getting rough trying to keep all my girlfriends and my wife separated. And it would break Sandy's heart, she's so dedicated to me."

Uh yeah.

And it's time for Jimmy's birthday and Sandy and I are both sweating it because her boyfriend and his girlfriend are both in attendance. Please, no one kiss or flirt with one another. I'm trying to get a decent party here, ok?!

And Jimmy officially joins the AARP, the Geriatric Pappas, the Senoir citizen's discounts are all his now.

"Now my dream dates will be 10% off!"
Once a pleasure sim, always a pleasure sim.

Poor little Dreama, she is nothing like the rest of her family. She is constantly building skill points and just seems more intelligent all around.

"So Dreama, tell me again why you can't marry me?"
"I'm your sister, doofus."
"Oh, yeah, right."

Arrrrgh! Is this picture enough to give you nightmares yet. Well hang on kiddies, cause the ride is only beginning. One word for you Normy... Clearisil... yeah.

Man these people are ugly. Look at this kid next to me, she has a mouth like a toad. And what the hell am I doing in this dumpy, hideously decorated trailer? I'm Mr. Big for goodness sake. Oh yeah, I remember, everyone says Bruty bootie is fantastic. I wish her husband would leave for work already. And these creepy kids need to go off to school too.

Say kid, how'd you all get so incredibly ugly? I mean you look like that mouth could be a hanger for TWA, and those zits... man kid get some acne cream.

"You're a jerk mister. How'd you like this burnt chile on your nice red robe."

And a fine one to talk...
Think I better just tweak my nosehairs a little...

Whoa, we don't want to know what Sandy's grabbing... too much information.

"The hot tub fling was great, but you can put your clothes back on and skittle on out of here before my husband gets home, mmmkay."

"Wow Sandy, it's true what they say about you. You're hot baby."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I got things to do, so get lost."

"Hey mom is that a platinum plumbob over your head?"

"Yeah, Norman, I'm just in a really good mood ok, so go feed the fishes, skill up, do your homework, or whatever."

Awww, isn't that sweet, he's bringing her flowers home from work...
Jimmy, you are so blind.

"Why because I think my wife is pretty! I told you I'm sick of the ugly comments."

That wasn't what I was referring to, but never mind. Stay in your happy platinum oblivion.

"That Melissa Fancey is such a sleeze, and not only that Norman, but she stoled my flame jeans. And she got in a fight with some other townie who kicked her butt. I heard it was over a date with some guy."

I love it when sims gossip.

Time for Dreama's birthday, and everyone seems to be having some pretty negative thoughts about how she'll turn out, well knock it off! It's the kid's birthday today!

"I wish to be pretty, or even normal... and not to be the heir."

Well, I think personally that Norman definitely has her beat. Her lips are a little full, but she doesn't have that lopsided look going. So Norman is the heir, and Dreama's the spare. So Dreama, you get your wish. What have we got for you behind curtain #1 welll...... you will get all the money you could ever need, a beautiful house, and a handsome NPC of your choice.. to make room for more ugly ones to come our way. She rolls knowledge by the way... and has full nice and neat points. No one in my house is nice, so she is an oddity.

And I will leave you with this old picture of Sandy lowering her hands while slow dancing (An aspiration she always has!) My next chapter will be the hunt for a wife for Norman, and I just haven't found what I'm looking for (As U2 says). I may have to send Normy to college, but if anyone has any suggestions on where to find a really ugly NPC or townie gal, feel free to sign my guestbook with suggestions. Until next time, same Bat time, same Bat channel, happy simming!