Scene: Cleverly Named Book Fair, day.

The book fair is boisterous and busy, with dozens of tables with authors selling books and signing autographs. The gang enters, slightly overwhelmed.

HOMESTAR: Wow. There sure are a lot of people here.

STRONG BAD: That’s for sure. And you’re sure that Strong Sad would be here, Pom Pom? I mean, he doesn’t really like crowds.

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: Well, we don’t know that for sure, man. I mean, what if "Strong Sad" is just some other guy’s pen name or something?

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean, that would be the last name I’d choose, too.

BUBS: Well, I reckon we should stop standin’ around yakkin’, and split up and try to find our melancholy baby.

COACH Z: You said it, Bubsy! Let’s stop waiting and get segregating!

Nodding in agreement, the gang splits up, searching for Strong Sad. Strong Mad shades his eyes and looks around, using his height to peer over the crowd. Suddenly a massive grin breaks over his face and he breaks out running, shoving the crowd out of the way. Intrigued, The Cheat follows him.

THE CHEAT: Yugoddim?

STRONG MAD: ALPHABUNNY!

Strong Mad proves to be in the children’s section, and he proudly holds up a book called "Alphabunny". The cover shows a one-eyed rabbit holding the letters A, B and Q. The Cheat sighs and shakes his head as Strong Mad sits down and eagerly begins reading about Alphabunny’s latest exploits.

Meanwhile, Strong Bad is looking around on his own.

STRONG BAD: I guess this would be easier if I just asked somebody where he is. But then, that would be admitting that dumpface was my brother. I’d rather do things the hard way. Hmmm… maybe I could say that I’m a doctor from the Hospital of Terminal Losers, and that he was let out too early. Heh heh. They’d probably believe me, too…

Suddenly something catches his eye.

STRONG BAD: No freakin’ way! I don’t believe this!

He races up to a booth and grabs a copy of a book. With trembling hands and an awe-hushed voice, he reads the title.

STRONG BAD: This Book is Better Than Getting to First, Second, or Possibly Third Base! I’ve been looking for this forever!

LEM SPORTSINTERVIEWS: You interested in buying?

STRONG BAD (breaking out of his spell): Huh? Oh, no. This copy is mine. I, uh, bought it last year at the, uh, book-selling place somewhere.

LEM SPORTSINTERVIEWS: But you said you’ve been looking for it forever.

STRONG BAD: Well, uh, yes. You see, I was here yesterday and I had my copy with me, and I lost it. I just meant that it felt like forever since I lost it. I can prove that it’s mine, because my copy had a rip on page 36.

He turns around and quickly makes a small rip on page 38. He then turns back.

STRONG BAD: See?

LEM SPORTSINTERVIEWS: I thought you said that the rip was on page 36.

STRONG BAD: I know, but I’ll let that slide because I really like you. Could you autograph my copy?

LEM SPORTSINTERVIEWS: Well… but… you said… oh, all right.

Elsewhere, Bubs and Coach Z have reunited.

BUBS: Any sign of Fatboy Grim?

COACH Z: I ain’t seen hide nor head of him, Bubsy.

BUBS: I just don’t understand it. I’ve searched every inch of this place!

It is then that Coach Z notices that Bubs has a bag in his hand.

COACH Z: What’s that, Bubs?

BUBS: Uh… what’s what?

COACH Z: Lemme see that!

He takes the bag. Inside is a book called "Are You Hungry Tonight? Recipes for the Ladies’ Man".

COACH Z: Bubsy, I’m disappointed. You’re supposed ta be lookin’ for Strong Sad, not browsing the books! I can’t believe that you…

He gestures, and a book falls out from under his arm. Bubs picks it up before Coach Z can claim it, and examines the title. It reads "Life is Like a Great Sports Play and Other Pointless Stories". Bubs looks disdainfully at Coach Z.

COACH Z: Heh. How’d that get there?

Finally, Homestar is standing around looking lost, as usual.

HOMESTAR: Man, I wish that Pom Pom had stayed with me. Why’d he chase me away, anyway? All I said was that the guy on the cover of that womance novel looked a lot like him.

He looks back and forth some more.

HOMESTAR: Now, if I were a gloomy elephant man, where would I be?

He turns and sees a door with a sign over it. The sign reads "Gloomy Antisocial Poetry".

HOMESTAR: Hmm… I’ll twy here.

He enters the room. The walls are painted black, and everything looks murky and grim. A few black-clad customers shove past Homestar, grumbling to themselves. Looking around, Homestar spots a table where Strong Sad is sitting.

Strong Sad is signing a copy of his book, "Brother Dearest: Poems and Tales from my Miserable Life". A rather creepy-looking chain-smoking Gothic girl is the owner of the book.

STRONG SAD: Uh, okay. Here you go.

He hands her back the book.

GOTHIC GIRL: I just want you to know that your work speaks to me. It draws the blackness from the very core of my wretched soul.

STRONG SAD: Oh. Thanks.

She leans closer.

GOTHIC GIRL (whispering): It brought my very essence to life.

Strong Sad tries to say something, but is cut off by a rather savage and kinda scary kiss. Eventually they separate.

GOTHIC GIRL (hissing): Call me.

She leaves.

STRONG SAD: Oh, wow. I will. Uh, except that I don’t know your phone number, and I don’t even know your name, so I couldn’t find your phone number if I wanted to… and even if I did, it probably wouldn’t work out anyway… oh, well.

He looks up and sees Homestar standing around.

STRONG SAD: Homestar? Is that you?

HOMESTAR: Hey, Stwong Sad. How long have you been sitting there?

STRONG SAD: Oh, about four hours. What brings you here? Are you into these books?

HOMESTAR: No way. We’ve been looking for you.

STRONG SAD: Oh, you have? Who’s "we"?

HOMESTAR (grabbing a copy of the book): Wow. Did you wite this?

STRONG SAD: Uh, yeah, I did. I’ve actually written three books, but I think that this one of my personal…

HOMESTAR (reading): Cool! I weally like your typeface.

STRONG SAD: Uh, thanks. You’re not really supposed to read without buying, but if you want to…

HOMESTAR: Hey Stwong Sad, what’s this pawt about?

STRONG SAD: Uh, what part is that?

HOMESTAR: This pawt here: "My golden-haired goddess with angel’s voice and heaven’s song?"

STRONG SAD: Oh, nobody in particular.

HOMESTAR: Okay, that’s weird.

STRONG SAD: Who were you talking about when you said that "we" were looking for me?

HOMESTAR: Oh, you know. Just me, and Pom Pom, and Bubs and Coach Z, and Stwong Bad, Stwong Mad and The Cheat.

STRONG SAD: Wow. Why do you all want to see me?

HOMESTAR: Well, we’re gonna get together and get back the money Homeschool Winner stole fwom us, and we want evewybody to help.

STRONG SAD: Well, it’s nice that you guys remembered me…

HOMESTAR: Yeah. We need your cash.

STRONG SAD: Oh. I guess I should have known.

HOMESTAR: So, uh, should I tell the west where you are?

STRONG SAD: No, this booth was gonna close in a few minutes anyway. Let’s go.

Homestar and Strong Sad get up and head into the main room. Coach Z and Bubs are just ahead of them.

BUBS: Hey, lookee here!

COACH Z: Way to find ‘em, Homestar!

They tramp up to Strong Sad, who noticeably sighs.

COACH Z: Wow! Look at you, Strong Sad! You were knee-high to a bicycle when last I saw ya! Look at how big you’ve got!

STRONG SAD: Uh, Coach Z? I was this size when you last saw me.

COACH Z (squinting): Oh, I gotcha. Maybe you’ve just put on weight.

BUBS: Hey hey, elephant man! How’s city life been treatin’ ya? Not gone soft, I hope.

STRONG SAD: Bubs, please don’t…

Bubs punches Strong Sad in the stomach.

STRONG SAD: Ow…

BUBS: Well, I guess you didn’t get too soft…

POM POM (coming up from behind): (bubbles)

STRONG SAD: Oh, hi Pom Pom.

HOMESTAR: Oh, that weminds me. Hey, Stwong Sad?

STRONG SAD: Yeah?

HOMESTAR (holding up a copy of "Flames, Wine and Bubbles"): Does the guy on the cover of this book look like Pom Pom to you? You know, the guy with no shirt on holding that girl? Because I think…

POM POM (angrily snatching the book from Homestar): (bubbles)

HOMESTAR: Okay, okay! Geez!

STRONG BAD (approaching with Strong Mad and The Cheat in tow): Well, well. What do we have here?

STRONG SAD: Oh. Uh, hi, Strong Bad. How have you…

STRONG BAD: Just a word of warning, man. If you even try to hug me, you’re asking for a face full of fist. I’ve gotten so many freakin’ hugs this week, I feel like a tree. You know, one of those trees that gets hugged… by tree-huggers?

STRONG SAD: No worries about that, Strong Bad. Besides, I think I’ll end up with a face full of fist sooner or later anyway.

STRONG BAD (beaming): Now that’s my brother! So, you’re joining us?

STRONG SAD: Well, the fair ends today, and I have virtually no social life, so… yeah, I guess so.

HOMESTAR: Hooway! …I’ve been saying that a lot lately, haven’t I?

STRONG SAD: Uh, but could I ask a question?

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG SAD: Exactly why are we trying to get back at Homeschool Winner anyway?

COACH Z: Ah, it’s a long story. We’ll fill you in on the way.

STRONG SAD: On the way to where?

BUBS: We’re going to look up His ex-Royal Harness.

STRONG BAD: What?! You mean that we’re gonna get the King of Town in on this, too?

COACH Z: You betcha, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Look, I’m sorry, but this is freakin’ ridiculous. Sure, I can almost see why we’d need Strong Sad, but for what possible reason would we need the King?

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD (thoughtfully): …Oh. Actually, that is a good reason. A very good reason.

HOMESTAR: Then let us go and seek an audience with the King!

STRONG BAD: Or we could just, you know, drop by wherever he lives now.

HOMESTAR: I know, but I always want to say that audience thing.

The gang leaves. Strong Sad prepares to go, but something taps him on the shoulder. He looks up and sees Strong Mad glowering down at him.

STRONG SAD: Oh, hi Strong Mad.

Strong Mad suddenly breaks into a large grin, holding up a book.

STRONG MAD: ALPHABUNNY!

STRONG SAD: Oh. Uh, that’s really nice.

THE CHEAT: Wuddadoofis.

STRONG SAD (whispering): How you putting up with him?

THE CHEAT (shrugging): Dunno.

Strong Sad sighs and he and The Cheat exit, followed by Strong Mad, still engrossed in his book.