Scene: Homeschool Manor, early morning. Just outside the gate, hiding deep within the thick hedge, the group sits in a circle. Strong Bad, standing, wears a mixing bowl on his head and a M*A*S*H T-shirt. A military drum solo plays in the background.

STRONG BAD: Gentlemen and The Cheat, this is D-Day.

The drum solo gets louder.

STRONG BAD: The day we strike back at last and show our enemies to fear our might!

The drum solo gets louder still.

STRONG BAD: The day that we get what we deserve!

The drum solo crescendos.

STRONG BAD: Will you PLEASE stop that freakin’ drumming? I’m getting a headache for like the 18th time!

We see that Coach Z was doing the drumming.

COACH Z: Oh, sorry about that, Strong Bad. Once I make these skins sing, there’s no stoppin’ me!

STRONG BAD (rubbing his head): I’m gonna be spending all of our money on aspirin at this rate. I’m afraid to ask, but does anybody have any questions?

HOMESTAR: Uh, Stwong Bad?

STRONG BAD (warily): Yes, Homestar?

HOMESTAR: What does the ‘D’ in D-Day stand for?

STRONG SAD: Uh, actually, it stands for ‘day’.

STRONG BAD: Hey, do you mind? I’m in charge here, so I’ll answer the question. Uh… I think it doesn’t stand for anything.

STRONG SAD: It stands for ‘day’. I read it in the…

STRONG MAD: BAAAAAAGGH!

STRONG SAD: Okay, okay. Don’t listen to me. As usual.

STRONG BAD: Fine. Now, this is a highly delicate operation, so I don’t want any screw-ups, but considering the combined intelligence of this group, I think it might be too much to ask. So I’ll ask; does everybody have the plan down cold?

Uneasy glances all around.

BUBS: Uh, I wasn’t really paying attention the first time.

COACH Z: I could use a refresher, myself. My memory ain’t the best.

HOMESTAR: I left my notes at home.

KING OF TOWN: I mostly remember the first part…

STRONG BAD: I shoulda known. Okay, we’re gonna go over this one more time, and if you guys wanna keep your knees-caps, you’d better listen up. Got it?

HOMESTAR: Aye aye, sir!

STRONG BAD: Stow that navy talk, soldier! You’re in the army!

HOMESTAR: Oh, wight. Aye aye, army sir!

STRONG BAD: Never mind. All right. Here is a little something we like to call… The Plan. Formulated by everybody’s favourite tactical genius, and all-around awesome guy, Strong Bad.

POM POM: (bubbles)

THE CHEAT: Meh!

STRONG BAD: Oh, and, uh, they helped. Anyways… Bubs and Coach Z?

BUBS: Yes?

STRONG BAD: You guys make your way in through the front door using the exterminator suits. Insinuate yourselves amongst the help, and then find those financial records.

BUBS: Gotcha, Strong Bad!

COACH Z: You can count on us, bro!

STRONG BAD: I’m sure I can. The rest of us are gonna go in through the sewer entrance. The Poopsmith will lead us to the main part of the castle, and then the King will take us through the secret passageways.

KING OF TOWN: Hoorah!

STRONG BAD: Shut up. Anyway, that’s where we split up. Strong Mad and The Cheat are gonna travel through the passages, sneaking in and out of rooms, taking any stuff of ours that they see. And you’re gonna be quiet about it, right?

THE CHEAT: Yah!

STRONG MAD: YEAH! Uh… yeah.

STRONG BAD: And after that, Homestar, Pom Pom and myself are gonna clean out Homeschool’s vault. We think that’s where he’s keeping all the good stuff. Once we have all of our stuff, plus those no doubt incriminating financial records, we’ll use it to have Homeschool’s butt sent up the creek!

STRONG SAD: Uh, excuse me, but what do I do?

STRONG BAD: Oh, right. You stay right here and let us know if you see anything unusual. And maybe you could have a pizza waiting for us when we come back.

STRONG SAD: I figured as much. How are we supposed to keep in contact?

STRONG BAD: Ah, yes. We will communicate with each other using these state-of-the-art wireless devices.

He holds up several walkie-talkies, which, in actuality, are "Talk2Baby" baby monitors.

STRONG BAD: Now, we only get one shot at this, and I don’t want anybody left behind to reveal our plan to certain parties.

COACH Z: I object to that incineration, Strong Bad! I’d never sing for none of Homeschool’s thugs!

STRONG BAD: And if they tortured you?

COACH Z: Oh. Well, that’s a pony of a different colour, ain’t it?

STRONG SAD (peeking through the hedge): Uh, guys?

STRONG BAD: What is it now, Strong Sad? You’re supposed to be on lookout.

STRONG SAD: I am. I think you guys should see this.

The rest poke their heads through the hedge and look at the front lawn through the gate. They all gasp.

KING OF TOWN: Oh, no! I never dreamed this would happen to my castle!

BUBS: I thought we’d seen the last of them!

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: Holy crap!

ALL: Unguraits!

Indeed, the mansion and surrounding property is crawling with Unguraits, their glowing eyes gleaming from beneath their bandaged faces, their bodies shrouded in green robes.

KING OF TOWN: So that’s how Homeschool did it! He sealed an alliance with those thieving scoundrels!

STRONG BAD: He musta promised them that he’d let them return to the kingdom after they got banished all those years ago!

COACH Z: This is horrible, yo!

HOMESTAR: I’ll say. This stowy is sounding more like The Lion King evewy chapter.

KING OF TOWN (fuming): My father would be horrified if he saw that all the work he put into exiling those cretins has been reversed. It’s enough to make an old King angry!

STRONG BAD: Cool your jets, your Majesty. We’ll kick those little creeps out once we get the castle back.

POM POM: (bubbles)

BUBS: Pom Pom’s right. Avoiding all of those little guys isn’t gonna be easy. They’re small, but they’re killers! And I don’t mean lady-killers, neither.

STRONG MAD (violently rattling the gate): I WANNA FIGHT ‘EM!

Everybody jumps on Strong Mad and pulls him back into the bushes, landing on top of him. Strong Bad is holding Strong Mad’s mouth shut.

THE CHEAT (scolding): Mehna! Buh!

STRONG BAD: I thought I told you to be quiet, man! What, do you want every freakin’ Ungurait in this castle onto us? If you blow our cover, you’re on your own, you hear?

STRONG MAD: Uh huh…

STRONG BAD: And that goes for anybody else, too. You get caught, you’re dead to us. Understand?

A general murmur of agreement.

STRONG BAD: So, let’s keep the visibility low. The less contact we make, the better. Now, anything else before we go?

STRONG SAD: Uh, I have a suggestion.

STRONG BAD: Anybody besides Strong Sad? Anybody?

STRONG SAD: It’s just a suggestion…

STRONG BAD: All right, fine. What’s on your alleged mind, weenie?

STRONG SAD: I think that before the mission begins, we should all stand in a circle and lay our hands on top of each other’s hands, and then lift them up as one. That would be an excellent way to convey a sense of camaraderie and solidarity.

STRONG BAD: Does anybody other than Strong Sad think that this is a good idea?

KING OF TOWN: Well, I’m somewhat disadvantaged in the hand department…

HOMESTAR: Ditto!

BUBS: I tend to get sweaty palms from time to time…

POM POM: (bubbles)

COACH Z: Yeah, I don’t think you could reach either, Pom Pom…

STRONG SAD: Oh, come on! Doesn’t anybody want to do this?

The Poopsmith steps up to Strong Sad and holds out his hands.

STRONG SAD (holding his nose): Okay, okay! Just forget I said anything, okay?

STRONG BAD: Will do. Now, are we ready?

ALL (hesitantly): Yeah!

STRONG BAD: Are we totally gonna kick some Homeschool butt?

ALL (louder): Yeah!

STRONG BAD: Are we gonna make this one for the history books?

ALL (enthusiastic): Yeah!

STRONG BAD: Am I the most awesome guy who has ever lived?

No response.

STRONG BAD: Aw, man. I thought that the truth would set you free.

HOMESTAR: Let’s go, buffalo soldiers!

Everybody races out of the hedge to their primary positions.

STRONG BAD: Hey, wait for me, you guys! I’m your leader!

Strong Sad is left alone in the hedge.

STRONG SAD: Uh, good luck.

He sighs.

STRONG SAD: I have a feeling we’re all going to need it.

Scene change. We now see Bubs and Coach Z getting into their exterminator outfits; chem suits, gloves, and most importantly, goggles and breathing masks to hide their faces.

COACH Z: Rubber suits, chemical sprays… I’m tellin’ ya, Bubsy, this takes me back to my college years.

BUBS: You’re not gonna get loopy like you did when we practiced this, right, Coach?

COACH Z: No problems, Bubsy. I just got a face-full of fumes there, and I got a little light in the head.

BUBS: You’re gonna be even lighter in the head if you mess this up.

COACH Z: Yeah, yeah. You just watch me. I’ll betcha I’ll do even better than you! I’m like a master of the disguise, guys!

He puts on his breathing mask.

COACH Z: Hey! These things make your voice all deep and tremuly! Bust this, Bubsy: LUKE, I THINK I MIGHT BE YER FATHER THERE. Wow. I sounded just that that James Earl McCoy there!

BUBS: I can’t take you anywhere, can I?

COACH Z: Oh, sorry, Bubs. I guess I forgot myself for a minute there.

BUBS: I should be so lucky. Are you ready?

COACH Z: Ready as rain, Bubsy! Let’s do some exterminationoratin’!

They high-five each other and walk towards the front gate.

BUBS: Now remember, don’t make eye contact with them Unguraits. Just give ‘em a nod and walk on by.

COACH Z: Right-o, bro.

They open the iron gate and step through. They begin their trek towards the front door. A few Unguraits turn their heads at the new arrivals.

COACH Z: Holy crap! Those things are starin’ holes right through me!

Bubs smacks Coach Z across the head.

BUBS: Will you shut your noise-hole? I swear, if those things kill us, I’m gonna be really mad at you!

COACH Z: Take it easy, Bubsy. I can talk my way outta this. I’ve got the silver tongue! (to the Unguraits) You can go back to your skulkin’ around, there! We’re just a coupla exterminate guys! It’s not like we’re gonna rob the place or kick you outta here or anything!

The Unguraits turn away, seeming somewhat ominously cheerful.

COACH Z: How was that?

BUBS: Coach Z, nobody handles hostiles quite like you.

COACH Z: Thanks a billion, Bubsy!

They reach the door. Bubs knocks.

BUBS (to himself): Likely gonna stab us in aft as soon as we turn our…

The door opens. A distracted (as always) Senor Cardgage answers.

SENOR CARDGAGE: Oh. Elaboplain me, Aliciabert. I do not know the reasons of your attendanceship.

BUBS: Oh. Uh, we’re the local friendly exterminators!

COACH Z: That’s us!

BUBS: We got a call. Seems you have an infesteration of.. uh..

COACH Z: Mothbats.

BUBS: Bald Weevils.

COACH Z: Mothsbald Weevilbats.

BUBS: That’s it. Mothsbald Weevilbats. You don’t want those things around.

COACH Z: No sir! You give those critters an inch, and they’ll take a rod and spoil yer children!

BUBS: So, we can just come in, right?

SENOR CARDGAGE: Uh… combobuled me, Eggberthina. I suspectorate you can comes in and investorize.

BUBS: Will do!

Senor Cardgage leads them into the castle. Bubs notices a door marked ‘Private’.

BUBS: Okay, I guess we’ll start looking here. Thank you, my good man, man.

SENOR CARDGAGE: Excardon me, Sarabella. But I haves some importants floors to be pass-outed upon.

COACH Z: I know the feeling, man! When you gotta pass out, you pass out, right?

Cardgage shuffles off. Bubs and Coach Z enter the private room.

BUBS: Okay. We need to find a filing cabinet or something.

COACH Z: How about the one over yonder?

It proves to be a filing cabinet labeled "Incriminating Documents", which is crossed out and replaced with "Unimportant Miscellany" in crayon.

BUBS: Devilishly clever, that Homeschool Winner. You start casin’ for the file. I’ll let ol’ whatshisname know how we’re doin’.

As Coach Z rummages for the file, Bubs activates the baby monitor.

BUBS: Fatboy Grim, this is Big ‘n Blue. How’s it shakin’, good buddy?

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: Why are you using that bizarre trucker lingo? And why can’t you call me by my real name?

BUBS: You never know who’s listening in on these things, little man. You gotta be careful.

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: Who would be listening in on a baby monitor? A baby?

BUBS: I never did trust those little devils. They’re hidin’ something, I’m sure of it.

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: I hate to ask, but does this conversation have a point?

BUBS: Oh, right. We’re in his private domain, and we’ve…

COACH Z (holding a clipboard of papers): Euroka, Bubs!

BUBS: Oh, great! We’ve found those financial records!

STRONG BAD’S VOICE: Awesome job, big buddy dad!

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: Strong Bad? Where are you calling from?

STRONG BAD’S VOICE: Dung boy and the rest of us are entering Los Seweros right about now.

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: Uh, could I pose a question if I could?

STRONG BAD’S VOICE: Shoot. Preferably at yourself.

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: How the heck are we going to condemn Homeschool if we’re committing several crimes to retrieve the evidence?

BUBS: Well, Strong Sad, it’s like the man says. You can’t make an omelet without committing a break-and-enter. Something like that.

STRONG BAD’S VOICE: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Catch you guys later.

STRONG SAD’S VOICE: Fine. I guess I should order that pi…

Bubs switches off the baby monitor. Coach Z stuffs the papers into his uniform.

COACH Z: Well, it looks like a clean sweep for us.

BUBS: Yep. You know, I almost was expecting something to go wrong.

HOMESCHOOL (bursting into the room): What in blazes is going on here?

BUBS (sadly): You know, like Homeschool bursting in and catching us red-handed. Something like that.

Scene switches to the sewers. The Poopsmith leads the rest through the labyrinthine corridors. The Mission Impossible theme plays in the background.

STRONG BAD: Oh, man. This has gotta be the worst chapter in the sprawling tome that is my life.

KING OF TOWN: Actually, after we visited that Poopsmith Sacred Pile, this isn’t so bad.

POM POM: (bubbles)

KING OF TOWN: Well, I didn’t say it wasn’t bad at all…

STRONG BAD (frustrated): Homestar, do me a freakin’ favour.

HOMESTAR (enthusiastic): Me, do you a favour, Stwong Bad? No pwoblems at all, man. That’s why evewybody loves me.

STRONG BAD: Well, if you want people to love you, maybe you could turn that freakin’ music off!

We see that Homestar is holding a portable stereo, which is where the music was coming from.

HOMESTAR: No pwoblems, sir!

He doesn’t turn the stereo off, but merely switches to another song.

BON JOVI: I wanna laaaay yoooooou dooooown in a bed of rooooses… all the niiiiiight I sleeeeep on a bed of naaaaails…

Strong Bad grabs the stereo and throws it into the sewage. The music promptly stops.

HOMESTAR: Glad to have been of assistance, Stwong Bad. I think.

POM POM: (bubbles)

KING OF TOWN: Not much farther. In fact, I think we’re almost there.

Suddenly the Poopsmith halts, and everybody behind him does the same. The Poopsmith raps his shovel against the wall, and suddenly the wall shifts to reveal stone steps, leading upward.

KING OF TOWN: Well done, my Poopsmith! Now wait here, while we press forward.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, man. Nothing personal, but if you came along, they’d sniff us out in a mini-second.

The Poopsmith shrugs. The rest begin climbing the stairs.

HOMESTAR: Bye, Poopsmith! If you’re good we’ll pick up something for you!

The door closes behind them. The Poopsmith shakes his head disdainfully and sighs.

New scene. Homeschool’s den. Dijory Doo sits alone, gnawing absently on a bone. Suddenly his nostrils perk up. He sniffs the air for a moment, and then a sadistic, predatory grin forms on his face as he licks his lips.

DIJORY DOO: Cheeeeeeat.

He rises to his feet and stalks out of the den, letting his nose guide him. Meanwhile, Strong Mad and The Cheat have found some petty goods; their old sofa, Strong Sad’s personal effects, some of Bubs’ old inventions. They stealthily carry the items back to the secret passage and close the door behind them. Inside, Strong Mad adds their latest discoveries to a pile that they have formed in the corridor.

THE CHEAT (gesturing down the corridor): Yawannagoindadaway.

STRONG MAD: Uh huh.

The two make their way further down the passage, until they reach the next connection to the main castle. However, they discover that the connection is a false ventilation grate, which is only small enough for The Cheat to fit through. Strong Mad raises his fist and prepares to smash a larger hole in the wall.

THE CHEAT (holding up his hands): Mah! Goddawunna magiddaneena!

STRONG MAD (disappointed): Uh… okay.

The Cheat slips through the vent and looks around for potential goods. Meanwhile, back in the secret passage, Strong Mad has noticed the glint of something shiny. He turns and sees a sheep skeleton lying in the corridor. He walks over to investigate, but fails to notice an overhanging archway. He strikes his head on the hard stone.

STRONG MAD: OW! Uhh…

He collapses unconscious. Meanwhile, The Cheat has found nothing of interest. He turns back towards the grate and suddenly finds himself face-to-face with a grinning, fang-baring Dijory Doo. The Cheat recoils in terror.

THE CHEAT: Waagh!

DIJORY DOO: Yum yum…

With a snarl, Dijory Doo lunges himself at The Cheat. The Cheat is barely able to dodge the pounce. The Cheat tries to get back in the vent, but Dijory Doo is too fast, and blocks his escape again.

THE CHEAT: Eena! Waddaweenama!

No response from Strong Mad, despite The Cheat’s cries for help. The Cheat pulls out his baby monitor, but Digory Doo casually swats it from The Cheat’s hand, the batteries skittering out.

THE CHEAT (terrified): Wuh… wagaddamandadala…

DIJORY DOO: Ready to DIE!

Dijory Doo lunges again. The Cheat does the only thing he can do; he runs. Like a golden bullet, The Cheat streaks down the hallways, followed by a slower, but confident Dijory Doo. The pair race desperately through the winding hallways. The Cheat suddenly finds himself at a dead end. He bursts through the only door he can reach and slams it behind him. Panting and leaning against the door, The Cheat takes stock of his situation. To his chagrin, the room he is in is scarcely furnished, and the door he has entered is the only one. The only things in the room are glass cases, which appear to contain stuffed hunting trophies. He winces as he hears scratching from the other side of the door, and gasps when a claw shears clean through the door, barely missing him. The Cheat runs from the door as Dijory Doo carves a "pet hole" through the door with his claws. Backed into a corner, The Cheat can only whimper as Dijory Doo approaches, his mouth foaming in anticipation.

THE CHEAT: Mah... mahnawah…

DIJORY DOO: Cheaaaaaat.

Meanwhile, the King is leading Strong Bad, Homestar and Pom Pom through the secret passages.

STRONG BAD: Man, I didn’t know this old place had so many secrets.

KING OF TOWN: Oh, yes. We’ve been very careful about keeping these passages confidential. I doubt our friend Homeschool Winner was able to find them, or even knew to look for them.

POM POM: (bubbles)

HOMESTAR: Pom Pom’s wight. What about the Unguwaits?

STRONG BAD: Good point, man. They are cave dwellers, you know.

KING OF TOWN: I doubt it. They’re likely enjoying the luxury of the main part of the palace too much to look for hidden rooms. I think we’d have run across them by now if they used these passages.

STRONG BAD: I sure hope we don’t. Those little guys give me the creeps. I wouldn’t turn my back on any of them. Or my front or my side, now that I think about it.

They travel further. Upon reaching a spiral staircase, the King halts.

KING OF TOWN: Hoo hah, my friends! We’ve found it! This stairwell leads to the northern tower, which is where the royal vault is! Race you to the top, boys!

The King runs up the stairs, the others following him. We now see the top of the stairs. Strong Bad reaches the top first, followed by Homestar and Pom Pom. Pom Pom is carrying the King.

KING OF TOWN: (puff, puff) In my day, I could run up those stairs ten times over!

STRONG BAD: Your day musta been one heck of a day, your Highness. Kinda like the day the rest of the world was really pathetic or something.

HOMESTAR: I think I was asleep that day.

KING OF TOWN: (pant, pant) Now, simply push against that wall, and we’ll be in the vault! Then I think I’ll have a little lay-down for a few minutes.

Strong Bad and Homestar push against the wall, and the wall turns, revealing a room full of priceless artifacts. Well, priceless to Free Country residents at any rate.

HOMESTAR: Sweet mother of glowy, we found it!

STRONG BAD: Now that’s more like it!

The group rushes into the room and are soon looking through all of their stuff. Homestar finds his old "telebision". Pom Pom pulls his Pom Pilot out of a box. The King starts eating an ancient taffy pull.

STRONG BAD: Now, what could be in here?

He opens a box and pulls out…

STRONG BAD: My old computer! Man, it’s been ages since I used this thing!

He turns it on and it whirs to life. Something appears on the screen.

STRONG BAD: What’s this? ‘Dear Strong Bad. Why haven’t you answered your e-mail in five years? You suck, George.’

He furiously pulls out his keyboard.

STRONG BAD: ‘I suck? Listen here, Georgie-boy. You don’t want to badmouth, insult or otherwise speak badly of somebody who’s spent five years in the big box like Yours Trulys has. I got stories that’d turn your wobbly knees to a disgusting gelatinous substance, man. You say the wrong thing one day, and the next you end up face-down in the commode with somebody’s…’

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: Okay, okay. I’ll do it later. (to computer) I’m not done with you yet, Georgie-pie.

He puts the computer back in the box.

HOMESTAR: We’re twying to figure out what’s in this thing.

It proves to be a cardboard box, duct-taped shut, with the "This End Up" sticker pointing down.

STRONG BAD (pulling out the Big Knife and opening the box): Oh, boy! Maybe it’s the priceless jewel of the Sierra Pontiac!

He opens the box. The box suddenly pops open. Everybody gasps.

HOMSAR: Dya-a-a-ah! I shoulda been a protractor!

KING OF TOWN: Good heavens! It’s that odd little fellow with the bowler hat!

HOMESTAR: Homsaw!

STRONG BAD: Well, I was wondering where that guy had holed himself up. Aside from the overpowering scent of mothballs, how are you doing?

HOMSAR: I-I-I-I’m three times the man I once was!

STRONG BAD: Insightful as always. It looks like we’re stuck with another loser.

HOMESTAR: Oh, well. Things can only go up fwom here.

Homsar jumps out of his box and walks up to a box draped by a curtain.

HOMSAR: We’ll have a barrel of turkeys!

He pulls back the curtain to reveal…

STRONG BAD: Holy crap! It’s the Yello Dello!

The caged bird blinks drowsily and looks at her guests.

HOMESTAR: Hewwo, biwdie. Wemember me?

The Yello Dello drills Homestar’s head with a flurry of pecks.

STRONG BAD: I’ll bet that jogged your memory too, Homestar.

HOMESTAR: Too wight.

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: Good point. How are we going to get all of this stuff outta here? Mr. Smarty-underpants The Cheat didn’t think of that!

KING OF TOWN: Ease your worries, Strong Bad. I have just the solution! Do you know what a dumbwaiter is?

STRONG BAD: Uh, what Homestar was when he was serving at Bubs’ that one summer?

A drum roll followed by a cymbal crash.

STRONG BAD: What the… where did that come from?

All turn and see Homestar sitting at a drum set.

HOMESTAR: Sowwy. Couldn’t wesist.

KING OF TOWN: Actually, a dumbwaiter is an old-fashioned hand-operated elevator. I had it specifically installed in the palace in case of emergencies! We can put all of this cargo on it and it will end up waiting for us at the sewer entrance!

POM POM: (bubbles)

KING OF TOWN: I’m not sure where it is. It’s somewhere right around… there! Behind that curious coffee machine!

STRONG BAD: That’s no coffee machine, your Majesty. That’s the… (double take) the Robot?!

Indeed, the piece of metal is the Robot, standing tall and still.

HOMESTAR: Wow. I didn’t know that the Wobot was still awound. I haven’t seen him since, like 2001 at least.

STRONG BAD: I wonder if this thing still works?

KING OF TOWN: Strong Bad, I really think you shouldn’t…

Strong Bad switches the Robot on. With a click, a whir and a groan, the Robot comes to life, his eyes glowing red.

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, baby!

HOMESTAR: It’s alive!

ROBOT: Must… destroy… Homeschool Winner…

He outstretches his arms and takes a step forward.

ROBOT: Must… destroy… Homeschool Winner…

STRONG BAD: Hey, this is gonna be easier than I thought! Okay, Robo-man, kindly go tear Homeschool Winner limb from nonexistent limb. We’ll take over from there.

KING OF TOWN: Oh, this isn’t a very good idea…

ROBOT: Must… destroy… Homeschool Winner…

The Robot takes another step forward. Unfortunately, he has reached the end of his power cord, which is pulled out of the wall. The Robot shudders and groans, and then falls facedown on the floor with a crash.

HOMESTAR: Oh, wight. I forgot about that.

STRONG BAD: Fine. Let’s just put this piece of junk on the dumb-the-waiter with the rest of the stuff. (sigh) And I was totally looking forward to seeing Homeschool vaporized, man…

All five of them begin loading the dumbwaiter with boxes. None of them notice that a pair of glowing eyes is watching them from a crack in the wall. They glint maliciously.

VOICE: Ssssoon, my dearsssss… ssssoon….

Strong Bad shoves the last box, containing the petulant Yello Dello, into the dumbwaiter.

STRONG BAD: Well, that was a pretty good haul.

HOMESTAR: Tell me about it, man. It was like Decemberween, but without the holiday wush. And the fact that we’re taking back our own stuff instead of getting something new.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, I’m actually in a relatively good mood right now, so I’ll let that idiotic comment slide.

HOMESTAR: Aw, you’re a weal pal, Stwong Bad.

HOMSAR: I-I-I’m the second-last fraction hero!

STRONG BAD: Okay, okay. No need to get all mushy on me. Just make sure you keep El Dumbhauser over there quiet.

HOMESTAR: Yes, sir!

POM POM: (bubbles)

KING OF TOWN: Pom Pom’s right. We’ll have to take the passage back to the sewers. Then we’ll have no problem getting all of our worldly goods out of here.

STRONG BAD: I’m not looking forward to going back into those sewers, but it’s gonna be for the last time.

HOMESTAR: Wemember, Stwong Bad, if the Ninja Turtles can do it, so can we.

STRONG BAD: Don’t push it, Homestar.

The group squeezes back into the secret passage and close it behind them, leaving an empty room behind them. They walk through the dark passages.

STRONG BAD (over the baby monitor): We’re on our way back, Strong Sad. We’ve got the M-E-R-C-H-A-N-D-I-C-E. …What do you mean I spelled it wrong? What do you know of…? Fine. Just fine. You just make sure that the pizza’s ready when we come back. And I’d recommend punching yourself in the gut a few times until I get there. (hangs up the monitor) What is this, freakin’ English class? Stupid baby brother…

KING OF TOWN: We’ve done well, my boys. Once this is over and I am the owner of this castle again, you will be welcome whenever you please.

STRONG BAD: Normally, I’d prefer boiling potatoes shoved in my eyes to spending an evening here, but now that I know about these secret passages, I think we could have a wicked paintball tournament in here!

KING OF TOWN: Paintball, eh? Is that some new sort of art exhibit? I try to keep up with today’s trends, you know.

STRONG BAD: Uh, it’s a little different. I’ll explain it later. Or maybe I could utilize one of these secluded passageways as a private make-out spot!

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: Too true, man. The acoustics are a plus.

Just as he speaks, an ominously loud creak is heard. Everybody freezes.

STRONG BAD: …What was that?

HOMESTAR: Hey, don’t look at me, man. The King was the one who ate all those beans at bweakfast.

KING OF TOWN: No, it’s…

A louder creak sounds.

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD: I dunno man. I have the weirdest feeling that something ominous is gonna happen.

HOMSAR: I’m a shiny little man!

HOMESTAR: Hey Stwong Bad, what does ominous mea…

Suddenly the floor gives way beneath them. Homestar, Strong Bad, Pom Pom, the King and Homsar fall what seems like several stories and crash through another weakened floor. They land in a hallway in the main part of the castle in a heap.

STRONG BAD (groaning): Kingy, remind me to deliver a solid kick in the crotch to your architect.

KING OF TOWN: That’s never happened before… it’s almost as though the passage was sabotaged somehow…

HOMESTAR: Ow… I think I bwoke my lumbago.

POM POM: (bubbles)

STRONG BAD (climbing to his feet): What?

Pom Pom points ahead. The group gradually realizes that they are in a dead-end corridor. And blocking their only way out is a group of about 20 Unguraits. Eyes glow, claws glint, and demented laughter whispers through the air.

UNGURAITS: Fresssh… meat….

STRONG BAD: Oh, crap.